Posted by Kath on April 16, 2007, at 12:45:10
In reply to Re: I'm off to the Nar-Anon meeting; Dismal Easter » Kath, posted by zenhussy on April 14, 2007, at 14:46:44
Thanks Zen,
I have 2 Nar-Anon meetings under my belt now!
I went again last nite. I know they're going to be a good thing for me!!!
The nice thing that I realize is that nobody is going to expect 'perfection'!!!
I had a bad experience with a CoDA sponsor in the past, where if I didn't 'follow through' with the actions that I decided upon (under some subtle pressure from the sponsor), the sponsor would 'disapprove' -- Boy, how messed up is THAT?!!! But, then again, the sponsor was also codependent!!!
Anyhow, I'm really glad I'm going to Nar-Anon.
I'm feeling stronger. Have made a firm proclamation to my son that whatever he decides to do, he must be aware that if he gets in trouble with the law, I will NOT become involved in any way. He was angry (go figure) - but I stuck to it!!
Had a meeting with his worker today about me seeting a boundary of not having contact with him if he's using. I still need to sort out the wording & the exact nature of what I need.
I realize that since he's come back I had been expecting that he'd stop 'using'. Well, he IS still using as a way to cope with stress, so I have to accept that (I now have) & figure out what my emotional involvement is going to be!
He's still on the emotional roller coaster with GF. 2 days after his birthday (which she didn't keep her promise about coming back to Ontario for) she let him know NOT to call her; that she's in love with the 'A' in Vancouver. (She'd told my son that she was in love with HIM 3 weeks before!).
Well, a couple of weeks later, she called him from jail. (Credit card fraud!!) She'll be out on the 28th apparently (can you imagine such a light sentence?) So when she spoke with him, she said that she was coming back to Ontario in a year & wanted to be with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKAY - what is it about being in love that I don't 'get'?? I didn't know it could revolve semi-weekly!!!
I told him that that was NOT OK & nobody deserved to be treated like that & that she should leave him alone & let him heal & go forward with his life. I am hoping that he wouldn't consider putting his life on hold for someone who has proved she can treat him like this!!! (Don't know if you know it's been going on like this since mid-February; on again off again, etc)
Anyway, even this, I'm able to be more detached about than I would have only weeks ago!!
Thanks for your ongoing support.
How are YOU???
hugs, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:748187
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070408/msgs/750296.html