Posted by Kath on February 16, 2007, at 16:41:34
Seems quiet around here.
I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Yesterday my son had his first appointment with the psychiatrist at the Can Mental Health Association program that he's in (about early psychosis intervention). It went well. GF & I met her also & GF & I met with son's case manager while he was with pdoc. I always feel calmed down after connecting with his case manager. She helps me realize SLOWWWWWWWW DOWNNNN - this is going to take some time! She told us that the H.O.P.E. team is there for my son & for us, his family, for 3 years! What a great program...and free. He felt very supported by the pdoc is his application for disability. He sure is disabled right now!!!! But he is gaining back more of his personality. Yesterday wasn't the greatest though for him. He was really tired & very quiet.
Last night hubby got frustrated that my car is making a noise & he doesn't want to spend any more money on it & we should get a 'new' used car. I felt very emotional & couldn't talk about it any more. This morning daughter phoned from out-of-town & said that there'd been a problem with a parcel of supplements that I'd couriered to her going to the wrong location & now she won't get them 'til Monday. She has environmental illness & one of the supplements in particular is REALLY important. I got feeling TOTALLY upset. I felt like I had been hit by a big huge snowball (not that I ever have!! LOL) I felt like: " just can't deal with anything else. enough. enough please. enough"
Later when I saw son's GF I was telling her how I felt & I started to have tears rolling down my face.
I said I don't know what's wrong with me!
She said that maybe because from yesterday it seemed like my son WOULD be getting disability, maybe now that sense of relief knowing that he might be OK financially resulted in me sort of having a bit of a 'melt-down' feeling.
Have any of you ever had that happen? That things have been SOOOOO stressful & then something really pretty good happens & you sorta fall apart in a way?
GF also told me that my son had mentioned to her that he wanted to try to smoke weed again at some point! (GAWDDDDDD) She firmly said NOT for at least 6 months. So he said OK - he'd have to just settle for the occasional beer for now. JEEEZ. The Pdoc replied to my question of what if he has a beer with friends. She said that actually she & my son had already discussed that & that she said anything more than once a week was excessive for him right now.
Too bad all his friends have drinking & drugs as such a part of their life. Party-down-dudes.
:-(( Oh well.Oh yes - maybe I'm feeling sorta crappy because on Monday I turn 60. I guess I should be glad I'm pretty healthy & just be glad that I'm alive, for heaven sake! here I thought I was all adjusted to turning 60. Over this past week, I've been feeling pretty 'down' about it. So weird. I'm sort of embarrassed, but I feel like my life is over or something! Can you imagine???!!! Dohhhhhhhhh It feels so silly in a way. OK today I'm 59 & in a few days I'll be 60.
Big deal. But in a way, it feels like I'm being forced to face my own mortality or something.
Oh my goodness! I'm in quite a state aren't I?!
Sorry.
I hope everyone is doing OK. Well, better still, wouldln't it be nice if everyone was doing GREAT?
hugs to all Kath
Oh shoot, I'm turning sixty
How nice to be numeric-free
Oh why oh why
Can't we truly fly
Through our life
Sans the strife
of numbers?Boy that last line is jarring, but I couldn't think of a better one.
poster:Kath
thread:733352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070209/msgs/733352.html