Posted by ClearSkies on January 16, 2007, at 0:06:30
No chemical aid can touch this burning bundle of misdirected energy. I don't want to start "doing" stuff, because both my kitty and DH are fast asleep. God knows the cat would never get back to sleep.
So I'm writin', and ramblin', and chasing folks off of chat. Or maybe - could it be - that they are actually taking themselves to bed??? I can't remember when I last felt like putting my head down on a pillow and had sleep pull itself over me like a comforting blanket.
Oh, and did I mention that I can't stand being hypomanic? This is, by far, the worst I've felt in 6 years, at least. I feel kind of rabid. If I was in a zoo, I'd be an emaciated lioness, pacing in front of the little kids hanging onto the enclosure fence. I do feel an all-nighter here. Be prepared for multo-polluto from me. My apologies for visual pollution from me. Pretend I am an infomercial, with with the same nutritional value.
I wish that I could get past this dread I feel. I have all those many, page filling ideas, and none of them will prove any theorem or fill a canvas with inspired creativity. This is called "spinning in place" except it's not even entertaining to watch. It's mean, and nasty, and indignant. The catchphrase for my frame'o'mind is "How Dare You!?!?..." - fill in the rest with whatever is at hand.
It's a despicable way to feel. Great way to build self loathing and hatred, for the narcissists out there. Ask for a dose of my brand of hypomania and it will blow your mind.
I hope that sleep claims me soon. I plan to keep away from the boards for at least a day if I can. I'd rather not spread my particular brand of joy at the moment. Too many apologies to make afterwards.
CS
poster:ClearSkies
thread:722768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070112/msgs/722768.html