Posted by LJRen on November 5, 2006, at 11:50:53
In reply to Re: Daily drudgery sucks!, posted by Jost on November 4, 2006, at 22:06:13
Hey Jost,
I had accidently posted that msg in the Relationships board a few days ago. So I entered a (nm) reply to it saying 'oops, meant for Social' and went ahead and copied it here that day. Then it appeared again in Social last night, I guess like you said, Dr. Bob or deputies having moved it over b/c only my (nm) reply post is now back in Relationships. I'm still getting used to how things work around here.
Oh, I get through each night's work somehow, no matter how long it takes. I'm convinced now more than ever my problem is primarily due to medication that doesn't do all that I need it to.
I graduated in '95 with a bachelor's in computer engineering. Started with an outside sales engineering job for 6 months, went to programming for a couple years, considered computer graphics, got fired from 3 computer jobs in a 1 year period (last one being a computer training type job). That's when I took a major step down in pay and started working meanial jobs like admin asst., waitressing, valeting, retail, and now factory machine operator. I am the world's worst people person so the waitressing/valeting/retail jobs were absolute hell on me.
But basically everywhere I've been, everything I've done, I end up feeling the same way...bored out of my mind and lifeless on the inside. I can't find something I want to do 40+ hours a week, so being forced to do anything that repetively that I don't really care about always ends up leaving me thinking what's it all worth. We spend soooooo much of our life just working. And b/c my meds don't quite do their job, I don't enjoy life much inside or outside of work. I feel cursed.
The funny/sad thing is, this territory is so familiar to me. I know this place by heart. It's practically home, which is comforting and scary at the same time. I wonder if I ever will get out of this hell. And if perchance that I do get out, when will it be? How much more of my life has to be wasted & lost before I get to enjoy it?
Anyway, thanks for the interest Jost.
Ren
poster:LJRen
thread:699953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/700579.html