Posted by llrrrpp on August 15, 2006, at 14:13:36
One of my friends is completely self-centered. About 98% self-centered. This is fine when life is grand, but when she has a boo-boo, she is nothing else other than 130 pounds of complaining. And I am exhausted from trying to get her to change her ways. She dates jerks, and then doesn't want to hear anyone tell her that he's a jerk, and then expects us to wipe up her tears when he treats her like a ...jerk! And if one of her friends should, GOD FORBID, have any problems of their own, she quickly as possible changes the subject to this time when SHE had a problem, kinda like that.
So, I've been avoiding her lately, because she is even more narcissistic than usual, we have little to talk about other than HER, and I find that topic a little boring after the first ... 3 hours. I'm not tempted to pity her, or offer support, because she doesn't appreciate it, and she doesn't learn from the lessons that her life is hitting her over the head with. It's like talking to a brick wall. When I support someone, I like to hear that they have found some meaning in my words, every once in a while at least [like maybe once in 4 years], or perhaps a tacit but perceptible change in behavior. I feel like supporting her or giving advice is like talking to a defensive brick wall. So, I just give up [after 4 years]. I'm not going to support her any more.
Do you guys subscribe to the attitude that "You gotta give some [support] to get some [support]" ?
qualifier- my question concerns the realm of the REAL WORLD. in Babble-land, I understand that people often pop in to get support, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing indeed.
thanks for listening to my rant (and for supporting me in other ways too!)
poster:llrrrpp
thread:676721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060806/msgs/676721.html