Posted by Michael83 on August 13, 2006, at 3:22:37
And I've been really scared a lot lately.
I have a million plans. I have direction. I have motivation. But I'm just scared I'll fail.
What if I fail? I don't want to end up like some people I often see. I am nothing like them. I don't behave like them. I am not as shallow or uncaring as them. I am supposed to be the good guy. The one everyone roots for.
I'll turn 23 soon, but I don't feel 23. It makes me feel scared. I am not ready to get this old this fast. Probably because I feel cheated by my childhood, having missed out on the good things most people do when growing up.
I was cheated. I am getting older. (I'm even scared to type that sentence.) I am terrified.
But I cannot go back in time of fix things that have already past. I'm not going to cry over things I cannot change.
I am no longer comfortable. Other people I knew are taking large steps towards creating their lives. I am taking those steps, but my steps have been nowhere near as large.
I need to make a decision. I need to find my direction and focus. If I take this "growing older" thing and make something out of it that makes happy, maybe perhaps I won't fear it anymore (or nearly as much). I suppose it's easy to fear getting older when your peers are ahead of you. I need to make serious moves to improve myself. I can't afford to waste anymore time.
Thank you babble for listening! Goodnite and I love you, no matter how "behind" (like me) any of you are. I'm must go to bed now, but I'll be back to try to help others and hopefully help myself. Goodnite.
poster:Michael83
thread:675975
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060806/msgs/675975.html