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Re: I think I really do have a BPD » Deneb

Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2006, at 7:45:59

In reply to Re: I think I really do have a BPD, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2006, at 0:39:15

> I also crave attention. I like it when I get replies. I may post in such a way as to elicit replies.

> I don't think I'm a real troll because I don't try to upset people on purpose. I just have this way of annoying the hell out of people.

I'm certainly not saying that your self assessment is true. I think it's clear that you have many friends on Babble, so you can't possibly annoy the heck out of people as a matter of course.

But do you think there's any connection between your two statements? Using your own words, do you post in such a way as to elicit replies of any sort? Or do you post in such a way to elicit positive supportive replies?

Does it distress you more when people get upset or when you don't get replies?

I think it's fine to crave attention. And I never judge whether the amount of attention anyone wants is excessive. I don't think there's any right or wrong there.

But I do wonder if you wouldn't have less distress if you clearly defined your goals and measured your results against those specific goals. So that if your goal is to get replies, and the replies you get are upset or angry, and you measure it against your goal to get replies, then your behavior has been quite effective, and you can safely judge it so. If your goal is to get supportive replies only, and you get angry replies, then you might wish to examine your methods of eliciting replies to see if it is really being effective in meeting your goals.

Just a thought. I was reminded of interpersonal effectiveness in reading my DBT assignment.

 

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