Posted by capricorn on July 4, 2006, at 18:23:32
After a spell of feeling especially dysphoric,paranoid,insecure and unsafe in the last few days i've been feeling more secure and emotionally together.
Then some nasty minded b**ch on another forum(not here) has to f***ing
spoil it all by saying i'm a sociopath and i've got no conscience.
My crime i made a good humoured reply with no harm intended in a thread about paranoia namely 'blame it on the shadow' which was my way of trying to illustrate how paranoia can get to a person.I'd kept away because i felt so dysphoric and paranoid and insecure .Now i wish i hadn't bothered trying. Now i just think it's safer
to withdraw and isolate.
How long before the anger and hurt subsides and i go from 'f*ck her'
to 'is she or isn't she right?' to thinking i'm a worthless no good piece of human excreta whose never done anything worthwhile in his life?
It always f***ing happens that way. It's just that the mileage ofthe journey varies.I'm no good at making friends on a face to face basis. The internet connects me to the world a little more alibi in a 2 dimensional indirect way,
but it also f***s with my emotions and makes me long for the holy grail of total insanity where nothing matters and nothing hurts because all there is is 'la la land' and complete emotional anaesthesia'.
poster:capricorn
thread:664032
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060628/msgs/664032.html