Posted by Larry Hoover on May 23, 2006, at 17:31:02
In reply to Thanks!, posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 17:03:42
> Thanks you guys!
>
> Now I have two Larry mantras:
>
> "Expectations are premeditated disappointments."
>
> "My feelings are not subject to questioning, by anyone. Even me."
>
> It helps to know other people have gone through this. What makes our mothers that way?Their mothers?
> My old T helped me with stuff like this, but I guess I need a refresher course. (Although, I am a long way from where I once was - no self esteem or independence AT ALL). I need to find a new T soon. I'd like to find one that can also help me with expecting things out of people and being disappointed. Its all got to be related somehow. What would you call that anyway, 'interaction skills'?
I think that if you wanted to research the idea more, you might want to look at what is called locus of control. Internal locus of control is the attribution of life events to those things you control, whereas external locus of control is outside influences holding sway. There is no right answer, but it helps to start the insight pathway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control
http://itech.fgcu.edu/cgi-bin/lchallenges/survey/locus.htmlAnother related concept is attribution style.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_Attribution_Error
> I just had a scary thought, am I somehow acting like my mother in social situations?
That's your primary model, unless you have (presumably) consciously made changes.
> 8-o That's my attempt at a screaming face.
>
> -TNot wanting to be my dad was my primary stimulus to changing how I was.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:635629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060521/msgs/647436.html