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Whining, lonely.

Posted by ClearSkies on May 14, 2006, at 14:49:56

I went to a baseball game yesterday by myself. I don't know anyone who is the least bit interested in going with me, and my husband is out of town. If I didn't use the tickets - and get the give-away action figure! - I'd never hear the end of it from my spouse.
I was really , really uncomfortable being by myself at the game. I wasn't able to relax at all and left the game in the 5th inning.

So today, I tried again. Can't say that I don't get back on to the bicycle if I fall off. Got another give-away (a pink sun visor, woo-hoo) and fell into that funk again. I cried during the singing of the (Canadian) national anthem. I cried when 2 breast cancer survivors threw out the first pitch. My knees started to shake and my throat tightened up. So I left, again, before the game ended.

I'm SO uncomfortable being at public events by myself. I feel like I stick out so horribly by being solitary. I can project all kinds of things; like I get dirty looks from women who see that I am alone; and I get sneaking looks from guys who see I really am alone. I just don't handle myself well. I get all anxious and sweaty and short of breath, until I just about run back to my car.

My husband comes home late tomorrow after being away 10 days. I was doing OK until this weekend. Now I've fallen apart completely.


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poster:ClearSkies thread:643935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060513/msgs/643935.html