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Re: I'm getting a little scared of my Babble trip » Deneb

Posted by Estella on May 13, 2006, at 2:17:48

In reply to I'm getting a little scared of my Babble trip, posted by Deneb on May 13, 2006, at 0:04:17

Hey. I think it is pretty normal to feel nervous... I'm fairly nervous when I meet new people. I've met a couple people off the boards and I was fairly nervous about meeting them. But then... They were fairly nervous about meeting me too.

But it went well...

I said lots of stupid things.... And I worried about having said lots of stupid things... But then they were probably worried about them having said lots of stupid things (not that I thought they did).

But it is fairly normal to say stupid things out of nervousness... And the number of stupid things I've posted on the boards...

What is wonderful about people (and Babblers in particular) is that people here UNDERSTAND about nervousness and worrying about saying stupid things and stuff like that. And so even if you do say something slightly nutty... I think people understand it is coming from nervousness... I don't know a single person that hasn't made some kind of social blunder at some point... But really it isn't the end of the day... And I really can't imagine that anything would happen that wouldn't be something that you could laugh about later.

It will be fun.
A bit scarey yeah...
But I really think it will be fun.

> Sometimes I feel like tearing my hair out after an interaction. I keep thinking of all the stupid things I said or did and I would be mortified.

I don't think beating yourself up is likely to help...
But it can be really very hard not to do it...
I do it quite a lot too...
But I try not to...
Usually... Other people didn't even notice what it is I'm beating myself up for.
Or even if they do... Usually... Other people (and I'm sure Babblers are more likely to be sensitive to this than other people) But usually... People are very understanding and very forgiving. If I see someone make a social blunder... I cringe for them and remember the social blunders I've made. I certainly don't hold it against them or anything like that.

You will be fine :-)

> Sometimes I force myself to smile and laugh the whole time and then my facial muscles get tired from all the forced smiling. I don't want to keep smiling.

I don't think you should feel like you need to put on a happy face the whole time. IMO... If you feel a little panicked... Then maybe move back a bit (or it is okay to be quiet for a while... I'm good at that and other people don't seem to mind... Just smile a little if people look a little worried... And it is okay to be quiet if you want to be...)

> I'm also afraid of being lonely. I'm going to be alone in a giant city. What if the people going don't really want to do things together?

I have no idea really... But I figure there will be some planned stuff... And some free time. So you will be able to do stuff with people... And you will have some time to yourself to recouperate. While recouperating... Try not to beat yourself up ;-)

> Will I be okay?

yeah you will be fine

((((Deneb))))


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poster:Estella thread:643333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060503/msgs/643361.html