Posted by Racer on April 15, 2006, at 22:47:07
In reply to I'm not fit for human company :-(, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2006, at 21:47:06
Deneb, your post actually made me laugh, in a "oh, that poor girl -- I remember feeling that way..." sort of a way. Poor Deneb, I'm sorry you're feeling yucky.
For what it's worth, I think MANY, MANY people would feel kinda similar, after that experience. I won't say "most," because I have no way of knowing, but I know that nearly everyone I've ever talked to about that sort of thing has said the same.
Years back, I tried dating ads -- responding to the ads already up, not putting in my own, I was never brave enough for that. And I well remember some horrible experiences. Dinner where I sat and wondered what the [warm place] was wrong with me, that I couldn't even carry on a conversation over a meal. And it wasn't nice.
The good news is that one generally lives through it. And the better news is that sometimes you meet people you actually enjoy talking to, people whose interests better correspond with your own, people it's easier to talk with. And those people sometimes become your friends.
Deneb, I met my husband by answering his personal ad. After a few emails, he sent me his telephone number, I called him to set up lunch -- and we had what I thought was a nice chat, maybe we'd been talking a little too long -- maybe as long as 45 minutes! Nope. We'd been on the telephone for over three hours -- and we were still going strong when I realized what time it was. Our lunch was the same way. When I compared that to the horrible experiences I'd been having, I realized it wasn't *me,* it was just a bad match with the other guys. They were likely very nice guys, but they weren't people who interested me.
Here's a bit of advice, though: don't think about looking for dates right off the bat -- think about looking for FRIENDS. People who share your interests, women friends, just, you know, friends...
I'm sorry you had a yucky time. It doesn't mean that you should plan on a career as an ornamental hermit quite yet, though...
poster:Racer
thread:633671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060413/msgs/633708.html