Posted by inja on April 13, 2006, at 10:19:49
hi folks,
I am new, and have posted on the newbie site. I wrote the following post there and it was kindly suggested to me that I may get more help, suggestions or response here. It is a long post, so I humbly ask for your patience in reading it.i've been having a really rough week, which is one of the reasons i haven't posted. i've being triggered all over the place, i guess. my husband and i found out recently that a registered S.O. has been our NEXT DOOR neighbor for well over a year. the landlord was/is a good friend (or at least long time friend) of my husband, and the uncle of the S.O. never told us when he came upon our property to say "hi-dee doo" and "oh, by the way, i've rented the apt. over there".
when we found out (completely out of the blue)we realized that no ONE in our small (and i do mean SMALL!) community knew about it. thus, i made big signs about keeping your children safe, that there is a S.O. living at such and such address, gave the R.S.O. #, the website, etc. that sign i have going one way. the other sign goes the other direction, with a HUMONGOUS woord of "SEX Offender" in order to "catch peoples eye as they travel on my road.
lots of folks are stopping to read it, and such which is great. at least now, folks are aware of it, and can talk to their children about it. i am gratefule that both of my children are grown and have their own lives, and thus i need not be concerned for them (i think) because they are adults now. the landlord (uncle) and his wife wrote us an impassioned letter to encourage us to be "better people", to "pray" for him (the S.O.)and essentially, ley bygones be bygones. needless to say, our signs are still on our lawn and we are making MORE too.
i live in New England (not a native, but have been here 20+ yrs), and it is rather true that folks are a bit cold towards until they get to know you (takes at least 20+ yrs for that...LOL), but i am so frustrated.
New England is a depressed economy state. not everyone has a computer let alone internet access. it appears that the law states that it is UP TO the LOCAL yokels police department)to notify people in the neighborhood about a predator in the neighborhood. They have their own "criteria" for that and are not forthcoming in exactly what that is.
what frustrates me the most, at the moment, is that i do not know how to proceed to get involved (outside of sign posting) in trying to make the changes necessary to keep our most precious "commodity", our children, safe. i want to know what i can do EXACTLY to help make a difference. i have no idea whom to contact for further advice.
i have written to the state offender registry, 2 senators, 3 representatives, the governor, the governor's wife, and a host of other people with little to no results.
now....... i'm sure that most of y'all have come to realize why i am so angry and passionate about this. i am a survivor of molestation, rape, incest, and a few other things. and so, yeah... i'm uptight about this. when i was little, from age 3 to age 14, i had NO voice, no "say in the matter". now that i am an adult, i DO have a voice, and sometimes it can be loud. and i am using it, but it doesn't seem enough for me.
unfortunately, i have let this consume me so much that i am distancing myself from my husband (we were married last august, 3rd time for both-and he's an awesomly understanding, kind and a gentle caring man), my therapist, and most unfortunately, distancing myself from myself, if that makes any sense. i don't have any "real friends", i.e. girl friends as it is so hard for me to make friends, though i am not usually shy.
i'll stop now. i just needed to blow off some steam, and am grateful i have a place where i know i am welcomed to do just that.
thank you so much for listening. if any one has any idea though, as to how i can further this "cause" or how i can become more involved to make a change, i welcome that info. frankly, i welcome any kind of feedback, positive or not (but hopefully positive!).
it's just nice to know that i've been "heard".hope everyone has a nice day....
poster:inja
thread:632568
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060413/msgs/632568.html