Posted by ClearSkies on April 3, 2006, at 7:49:55
My T asked me to examine just what it is about going grocery shopping that causes me to experience so much anxiety.
I gave my usual rant about checkout clerks talking to each other. Aisled being blocked by restocking or people talking to each other or carts in the middle of the aisle... any of these will cause me to turn right around and skip the aisle, even if there are things I really need there.So what is it about these things that make me so anxious? I can pinpoint it exactly. My invisibility to others - that people don't register my being there so they don't acknowledge me as a customer, they don't make room in the aisles, they don't think to shift over so I can look at the lettuce (or whatever) beside them... people just don't see me. I get frustrated, I get angry, I get scared that I'm so insignificant that my exsistence is absolutely not noticed by ANYONE.
I decided to become more visible. I dress a little better for the trip to the store. Not all Sunday-best dressed but I'll take care that my clothes are clean, neat, and kind of coordinated. I'll tame the bedhead hair. I'll put on earrings and lip gloss.
It worked like magic. Smiles, thank-you's, exuse-me's, small talk, all these things happened when I went in feeling better about the me I'm projecting to others. Even teenage checkout clerks and baggers are nicer to me.
Who would have thought that a change like this - which was not an easy effort for me - would have such a profound effect? That whole "dress for success" idea can make a big difference. How very superficial of our society, how sad, ironic, and a relief. I am not invisible. People can be nice if they can see you.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:628152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628152.html