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Re: Just wanted to say that I'm OK » Deneb

Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2005, at 12:08:43

In reply to Re: Just wanted to say that I'm OK, posted by Deneb on December 22, 2005, at 1:48:11

> I think Alexandra said the same thing a while ago but I forgot about it.

yeah. i find it really hard to remember stuff at times too... are you able to print posts out? maybe... you could print out some of the posts people have written to you. maybe even organise them a little (so you have a stack of supportive posts). that way when you start to worry about whether people care etc then you would have a whole stack of posts to remind you :-)

> Wow, you guys understand me more than I understand myself.

i feel like that too. sometimes what is required... is a relatively objective pov. it is so very much easier to be relatively objective about other people than it is to be relatively objective about ourself.

> I'm not very good at interpreting why I do the things that I do. That's something I have to really think about.

yeah. i understand that one. i have trouble with that. and i used to be very bad at it indeed. i think... i've made a lot of progress on that... but... it still tends to go out the window when i feel upset.

that is something... that a therapist could really help you with.

> I don't think the counselling centre will see me. They work on short term problems. They told me I need long term therapy.

yes. i hear you there. my uni councelling service is the same. and the one i'm moving to... will be the same.

> My pdocs aren't very helpful in referring me to therapy either.

hmm. i wonder why not...

> I think I have to do my own research.

yeah. and Larry has been helping you with that - right? he found this hospital nearby that runs DBT was that right?

> The only problems is that I'm too afraid to do this research. I'm too afraid to phone people up and ask questions and go to strange buildings.

yeah. i understand that one too. that can be a huge hurdle indeed. you know... Linehan (the lady who developed DBT wrote about this):

> Active passivity: Tendency to passive interpersonal problem-solving style, involving failure to engage actively in solving of own life problems, often together with active attempts to solicit problem solving from others in the environment; learned helplessness, hopelessness.

learning how to get better at doing those kinds of things (doing active research, ringing people up, going into strange buildings) is something you would learn in DBT...

the trouble is...
that doing some of those things... is the only thing that is likely to get you in DBT.

alternatively... you could talk to your p-doc in Jan and tell her that you were wondering about DBT and see whether she might be willing to help you figure out whether it is a possibility.

i remember you saying something about worrying that the DBT program was run as part of an outpatient clinic in the hospital... but the main point... is that doing DBT will be able to help you figure out some of those things that you find the hardest

- how to communicate distress to others (in a way that is more likely to elicit helpful responses from them)
- regulating your intense negative emotions
- being able to do more things that you currently find frightening (so going to classes and assessments and labs and being able to sort out problems that occur in life
- dealing with your suicidal / SI thoughts / urges
- and there is more besides.

i really think it would help you (if you get a reasonable therapist) and can manage to get into a program.

it isn't a magic cure.
not any more than the medication was going to be a magic cure.
you will need to work hard at it.
but i reckon that you do want to get better at those things and so i reckon that you are prepared to work at it.
and given that... i think it could really help you out.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/591256.html