Posted by gardenergirl on December 19, 2005, at 17:32:31
In reply to Re: Husband was off Friday and now Monday--grrrr » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on December 19, 2005, at 9:02:59
I went to the library.
I talked about this a bit in therapy today. I think I've figured out what really bothers me. When I'm home alone, (Kevin!!!!) sorry, just had a movie flashback. ;) Anyway, when I'm there by myself, I am in the "let my hair down" really relaxed, unselfconscious mode. I didn't realize this. But when anyone is there, hubby included, I feel more self-conscious. I feel observed in some way. Not that he is actively "watching me", but I am not in the "let my hair down" mode.
And apparently, I really like and need that feeling. I guess the challenge is to feel free enough and unselfconscious enough to be authentically me, albeit maybe a bit more proper, in public and/or around other people.
It's sort of a subtle difference in the case of my hubby being home. T said I am projecting my super-ego onto him. And boyo, does he take that up and run with it at times (hubby).
Anyone else get like this?
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:590249
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/590444.html