Posted by TexasChic on December 7, 2005, at 20:33:44
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone » TexasChic, posted by rainbowbrite on December 6, 2005, at 19:48:50
For the past three days I've haven't spoken to or even looked at cute boy. I've done this before only to get really upset, but this time somehow its different. I think its because I've stopped thinking about something non-platonic happening, and have started thinking about how if he wants to be my friend he's going to have to get his sh*t together. These past few days have made me realize that I've been putting out all the effort. This is such a pattern in my life, I can't believe I didn't see it. Whenever I meet someone I like, whether friend or something else, I just get really passionate and excited, and want to do everything I can to make that person happy. I end up neglecting myself, which I don't even realize, and that ends up driving people away. I guess I appear desperate. Anyway, he hasn't tried to initiate conversation. I feel like he's keeping his distance, like he doesn't know what's wrong with me. I just know now I'm going to have to see an effort on his part to be friends if things are going to change. I'm certainly not going to force my company on someone who doesn't want it. Its good to get back to my independent frame of mind at work, rather than trying to fit in. I just listen to my headphones all day (while I work), read on breaks, and talk to anyone who initiates conversation. The people I've become friends with seek me out, and I see now that's what the difference is between them and him.
I'm going to try to start making some goals for myself. I know I would not be so upset about cute boy if I had an outside life. The situation is somehow motivating me. I guess I'm still figuring it all out.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:584293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051203/msgs/586692.html