Posted by allisonross on December 3, 2005, at 3:46:03
In reply to Re: Family Dynamics + personal update/Transcendenc, posted by ron1953 on December 2, 2005, at 16:26:18
> Allison:
>
> Nice to meet you, too. The Transcender role is interesting. I read a few excerpts from the book on Amazon. I'm attempting to transcend at age 52!
>
> I'm a bit baffled, though......why do you go to a therapist?
>
Hi, Ron: Well, do you want the WHOLE story, or just the Reader's Digest Version?I'll try to make it brief. You can read the story on www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com, and I was also published with the Ph.D's (amazingly) at www.psychiatricjournal.com, entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse.
I went to a therapist, because my church of 31 years was going to take my business before the whole church (because I was getting a divorce after 31 years of abuse).
I had never heard the term "spiritual" abuse until my therapist (expert in spiritual abuse, and the exact...person I needed to journey with me)...told me what was happening.
I fought the system for 18 months (principle of the thing) to try and stop the pastor (of disaster, LOL) from "counseling' any more women, because 2 of them wanted to commit suicide.
In the end (on my birthday, no less), my name was put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD. Something beautiful came from the ashes: my churchabusepoetry website
My therapist taught me the most important and powerful words I'd ever heard: "Restorative Justice"--This is what you did, this is how it made me feel. So empowering to someone who had lived (except for 3 years in the army) a lifetime of abuse.I did "restorative justice"--waited 2 years and wrote to everyone in that church, then to the pastor, requesting compensation for what I had to spend in therapy. Received a token payment, but at least I stood up for my principles.
That's the short version.
I coped by myself my whole life, and my resiliency allowed me to do that (along with my faith and wicked sense of humor), but when it came to the church (debacle), I needed someone knowledgeable bout church stuff, etc...and my t was sent to me at the exact moment I needed him.
I have stayed with him, because now I am alone after this divorce thing..transition, etc.
It's interesting. I process all of that pain (divorce stuff), and angst all week long, but when I go and see my t, all I want to do is talk about social stuff, and tease and play. I told him that. That in itself, is therapeutic for me.
As he said, even though I am NOT talking about the pain of divorce, in a sense I AM talking about it. I understand what he means by that.
I could leave at any time, (been standing on my own 2 feet for a lifetime), but I choose to see him still. He's wonderfully supportive and celebrates me. I believe he is the best t on the planet (and he agrees, LOL)..
That's it in a nutshell!
Again, lovely to meet you, Ron!
> Ron
poster:allisonross
thread:584248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051120/msgs/584871.html