Posted by TexasChic on November 17, 2005, at 19:24:48
Three years ago I was in a bad situation at work. It had been tolerable only because of the friend I had made in my co-worker. But the stress of the situation took over. He basically betrayed me and sided with our supervisor that was treating us so badly, making me look like the bad guy. I was devastated. I ended up quitting within a few days, and never spoke to him again. He tried to email me once, but his 'apology' pissed me off. It was like, 'I'm sorry you got upset because we disagreed about your job duties'. I was like, whatever!
Then the other day, a mutual friend emailed me with pictures of his new baby. He's Chinese, and I always joked that if I didn't have a baby by the time I was 40, I was going to adopt a Chinese baby because they are so cute the way their hair sticks straight up! So that being said, I finally decided that maybe it was time to let it go. I just wrote him an email saying, "I know, I know, I really know how to hold a grudge. But you should have known if anything was going to win me over it was a baby!"
I still think he was wrong and treated me badly. But he obviously doesn't see it in the same light as I do. Plus I've recently severed the ties with not one, but two other close friends. They actually did treat me pretty badly. My therapist even agreed with me and my decision. She also helped me realize I was choosing the same type of person over and over and setting myself up for a fall. This guy was a different story though.
So the thing is, I haven't had any friends now for quite a while. I'm so lonely, and it seems whenever I start to make a friend, they move or something. So I felt like maybe I should give it a shot with this guy. We were very, very close. It was actually kind of unusual with him being a Chinese guy with less then perfect English, and me, the wacko white girl. I went to his wedding (one of the two people who didn't speak Chinese), and met his parents who came over from Bejing. I demonstrated for them that I could count to 10 in Chinese (he taught me). They acted impressed, but like they thought I was kind of funny too. I've always missed him.
So, we'll see what happens. I still feel weird, I feel like he should understand exactly why I was so mad and apologize for it. But is that being too stubborn? Is it sometimes better to just let it go and move on? I guess I'll find out one way or another.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:579801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/579801.html