Posted by Susan47 on November 17, 2005, at 11:15:39
I'm visiting a country in which females are still seen as chattel and inferior, in spite of the fact that many more women are in positions of political power here than in many Western countries where women are seen as equals. A country in which, according to the newspaper I read here today, there are 15,000 (fifteen THOUSAND) dowry burnings a year. Think about that. Do you know what that is? A husband, very often helped by his mother and other relatives, sets his bride on fire, usually within the first two years of marriage, because she's inadequate for his purposes and those of the family. Fire is easiest because kerosene is available in virtually every kitchen here in India. It's also cheaper than knives or guns. Usually it's because her dowry was insufficient.. it just boils down to greed. But reading about this "May You Be the Mother of A Hundred Sons" by Elisabeth Bumiller .. I wonder, how many psycopathic men and women a country can create out of what might have been normal, emapthic people ... what is it that creates a climate wherein so many people cacn be so cruel?
The tradition of dowry is still a fairly recent one and mostly middle to upper-class, or at least, originated in those classes. Because in the poorer villages, in the lower castes, the husband's family traditionally paid for the bride, as compensation for the family losing a daughter and payment for her work in the fields. The idea of dowry actually has value as a social status symbol; when bride's family pays the groom's family a dowry, it means the groom is well-off enough that the bride will supposedly not have to work; the dowry paid is compensation to the groom's family for the burden, the BURDEN of supporting the bride. Well, what's wrong with THAT picture?
My ex-husband and I had a discussion today about how we view this country. I could never ever live here without, like many Indian women, wanting to or actually committing suicide.
My ex- thinks this would be a great place to live.
There you have it. People who profess themselves to be kind, gentle, and considerate, are capable of taking advantage of any situation in order to better themselves.
Susan thinks this is a sick world. This country also is full of terrorists, terrorist attacks happen every day, but you don't hear about them unless you read the local papers, or you live here, or you're actually interested. And why would anybody WANT to knhow about this stuff? It's absolutely depressing.
I thought my eyes were open before.
I wish I could close them again. And I have a feeling that once I get back to my own country, they will surely, slowly shut once more, in self-defense if nothing else. Because the value of a woman's life is no more than the opportunities she's given.
This is a country where first-born girls of a certain religion are .. I can't even go onh, it's just too depressing. But imagine, just imagine, being born into an irreversibly sad life. One in which you have absolutely no control whatsoever over your fate. I nevfer used to think about this stuff, not seriously, not without a certain detachment. But when you're here, when the air you breathe contains the dust of women burned alive on their husband's funeral pyres (okay so it's just happened once or twice, recently ...) where woman are BORN to be prostitutes ... you have to be a psycopath to be able to ignore the sadness of that.
Yesterday I met a psycho policeman. I was forced to pay a bribe. The police station here has a big sign, it says they don't tolerate corruption ... every mouth has two sides.
Quite frankly, I'm going to feel fortunate if I do get out of this country alive. Because lately it doesn't feel like I'm going to.
poster:Susan47
thread:579623
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/579623.html