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Re: OUT OF WORK ON DISABILITY FOR DEPRESSION? » snapper

Posted by jeminiwmn on November 14, 2005, at 14:05:42 [reposted on November 16, 2005, at 0:16:08 | original URL]

In reply to Re: OUT OF WORK ON DISABILITY FOR DEPRESSION?, posted by snapper on November 12, 2005, at 2:26:40

> Ok guys, I concur on some of the issues. I have been fighting this crap for 15 years ..I started and owned a very successful biz in 1993...I always knew it was lurking around the corner and finally I crashed. I lost it all.... I am on ssi and now out of my parents house again after 5 years plus and I could'nt perform my job and so I am barely making it......I do not have any pat answers or easy solutions except DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR ASKING FAMILY AND FRIENDS (TRUE FRIENDS) FOR HELP.YES IT SUCKS AND I FEEL SO INADEQUATE AND LIKE I AM LIVING A DIMINISHED LIFE...BUT I KNOW THAT EVEN IF TOTAL RECOVERY IS NOT ATTAINABLE...I AM NOT SAYING IT IS NOT ATTAINABLE CUZ YES I HAVE BEEN ON 60 PLUS MEDS AND HAD 33 ECT TREATMENTS AND I CONTINUE TO HOPE AND FIGHT AND SOME DAYS ALL I CAN DO IS CRY-AND WISH FOR DEATH -FOR GOD TO STRIKE ME DEAD(NOT VERY HAPPY BUT I AM SURE YOU CAN RELATE) IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ASK FOR HELP, GET THE RIGHT DIAGNOSIS AND THE RIGHT MEDS( BTW I AM STILL NOT ON THE RIGHT MEDS) AND DO NOT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. I DO NOT SAY ALL OF THIS LIGHTLY. I FEEL FOR EACH AND EVERYONE OF US IN THIS PLIGHT. I DO NOT CLAIM TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BUT THERE IS HELP AND HOPE. EVEN THOUGH THE LIES OF DEPRESSION TELL US OTHERWISE. IF I WERE TO LIST ALL THE BAD S&IT THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND WHAT THIS ILLNESS HAS COST ME AND MY QUALITY OF LIFE MOST PEOPLE WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT OR READ THIS..I AM NOT COMPARING BAD CASE AGAINST A BAD CASE... WE ALL KNOW IT SUCKS... BUT FOR RIGHT NOW ALL WE CAN DO IS WHAT WE CAN DO...I KNOW THIS MAY NOT BE MUCH SOLACE RIGHT NOW..BUT ONE OF MY MAIN INTENTIONS & GOALS IS TO GET WELL ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO HOPEFULLY CHANGE THE WAY WE ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST AND HOPEFULLY WORK TOWARDS NEW LAWS AND LEGISLATION FOR THE RIGHT HELP FOR THE MENTALLY IMPAIRED..AND HOPEFULLY HELP OTHERS WHO HAVE OR ARE TRAVELLING THE SAME ROAD AS MYSELF....IT MAY BE A VERRRY LONG ROAD AND HAUL BUT IF WE CAN JUST REMEMBER THAT WE ARE FIGHTERS. WE ARE NOT AS ALONE AS WE THINK AND FEEL...ALL OF US..WE WOULD NOT BE HERE NOW........I AM ALSO NOT ON A HIGH HORSE SAYING I AM BETTER.... I FEEL LIKE CRAP FROM MORNING TO NIGHT..AS WELL AS I AM SURE MANY OF MY FELLOW BABBLERS DO.. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT.... GET OUT! STAY AROUND SOME POSITIVE PEOPLE,..even if it is for lunch or a movie or a drive..a walk with a friend neighbor what ever... YES! I know ..most anything is NOT FUN.. I have pretty severe apathy and anhedonia!... SOMEONE, ANYONE WHO GENUINELY LOVES YOU AND CAN GIVE YOU THE MOST SUPPORT POSSIBLE... I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING...I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED, I AM ANXIOUS AS HELL, I CAN'T GO OUT THE DOOR, I KNOW, I KNOW , I KNOW, JUST TRY IT ..IT HELPS.GO TO THE LOCAL MENTAL HEALTH DROP IN CENTER IN YOUR COUNTY OR TOWN AND BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO YOU MAY FEEL NERVOUS OR SCARED AROUND; BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THEY ARE IN THE SAME BOAT AS WELL... AND MANY ARE REALLY IMPAIRED .SOME ARE WAY MORE EFFED UP THAN MANY OF US..AND IT MAY SUCK AND BE BORING BUT SO IS STAYING IN AND LETTING LIFE GO BY.....I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH THE FACT; that WHEN YOU OR I FEEL THE WORST IS THE TIME WE NEED SOMEONE THE MOST IS THEN AND NOW.....I DO NOT LIKE LIVING ON $579 PER MONTH AND I JUST GOT A CAR THAT I CAN NOT AFFORD BUT GOT WHEN I WAS WORKING FULLTIME AND COULD AFFORD IT.....I am happy to report that I just got word that I am going to start a new PT job on sun eve . that is not overwhelming and TOO STRESSFUL THAT IS THE LAST THING ANYONE OF US NEEDS IS MORE STRESS. I AM NERVOUS, SCARED AND HOPEFUL. 1 YEAR AGO I WOULD BARELY LEAVE MY MOM AND DADS' HOUSE OR GO OUT TO EAT AND NOW I HAVE A CAR AN APARTMENT AND A PART TIME JOB...WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT? I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER LOVE, WORK, LIVE OR BE INDEPENDENT AGAIN... WOW!! I COULD RAMBLE ON AND ON FOLKS and AGAIN PLEASE DO NOT THINK I AM BETTER OR AM ON A HIGH OR THINK YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE BETTER OR WORSE THAN MINE, OR VICAVERCA OR THE NEXT GUYS.... I HOPE THIS GETS THRU TO SOMEONE..ANYONE ....IF WE HAVE THE CAPACITY TO OWN A COMPUTER AND SURF THE NET AND AFFORD DIAL UP OR HIGH SPEED OR WHAT EVER , WE ARE CAPABLE OF DOING MORE THEN OUR BRAIN SAYS WE ARE CAPABLE OF... I WILL QUIT RAMBLING BUT PLEASE DO YOUR BEST TO GET THE APPROPRIATE HELP...WHAT EVER IT TAKES AND ---SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS BUT I FEEL VERY STRONG ABOUT ALL THIS CRAP.DO YOU OR ANYONE THINK THAT I WENT FROM MAKING SIX FIGURES AND SO ON TO LIVING WITH MY SEMI-RETIRED M AND D WAS FUN? HELL NO!!! VERY VERY DE-MORALIZING !!BUT I AM JUST NOW STARTING TO EMERGE... AND THERE IS HOPE.....!!!! I can also do my best to answer any questions anyone may or does have in re: to ssi and or ssdi... I got turned down 1 time then on my second time I recieved it. WITHOUT LEGAL AID!! JUST FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT AND DO NOT LET THIS CRAP BEAT YOU AND REMEMBER WE ARE MUCH STRONGER FOLKS THAN ANYONE OF OUR FORMER OR PRESENT COLLEGUES, FAMILY OR FRIENDS COULD EVER IMAGINE. PEACE AND GOD BLESS
> Snapper


Hey Snapper,
Thanks for sharing all of that. I've noticed there weren't many resonses regarding the thread that i posted. Of course, I felt horrible about that-and then to boot-this other person told YOU TO HANG IN THERE AND DIDN'T RESPOND TO ME LOL!!! I am laughing because that's how insecure and uggg I don't know if you want to even call it almost paranoid. Maybe ppl feel who do I think I am being out of work and getting $ for depression. One of my own dr.s made a snobby comment about it. She simply stated "FOR DEPRESSION??!!!" I said uhhh yeah-she's the one that diagnosed me 13 yrs ago for God's sake!!! I was very fortunate to get the SSD and I know this-I did hire a lawyer immed. w/ the advice of someone I knew. Knowing that they normally turn you down sometimes 3x's before you get it. I was blessed and at the same time lucky. I need to count these blessings as well. I do, but I guess I better remember how really BAD it was while WAITING for everything-I lived hand to mouth literally and was responsible for a son. I had to maintain and I couldn't understand that Welfare wouldn't assist in rental asst. until you are being evicted or already homeless!!!At that time the apt. I was in was so cheap-I told them how could you let someone loose their place, have to go to a shelter, and probably put them up in a very expensive MOTEL that is filled w/ Lord knows what. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT GOES and given this-I don't ever want to get in that prediciment again-I didn't loose my place and when all came through-I relocated for my son and am unfortunatley paying high rent, but it was for him. Anyway=-I know I'm rambling-

I have a question-why is it that you only get that amt. from SSD/SSI? You said you were a nurse-you must have your credits right? From working all these years prior?? I would like to talk more about this w/ you if you don't mind.


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poster:jeminiwmn thread:578009
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/579186.html