Posted by AdaGrace on October 27, 2005, at 9:50:03
Okay, here is what I have accomplished this past week.
I feel the need to post this so that in a few more days when I have gone down hill again, I can read it and remind myself that there is an up side every once in a while.
# 1. I have managed to get up off my bum and get the house back in order and clean after three days of lying on the sofa and doing nothing.
#2. I deep cleaned my children's bathroom, and didn't murder my son for the condition of the floor around the toilet.
#3. I got up on a ladder, an extension ladder, and didn't fall, didn't sweat, and didn't have a panic attack. I plan to do it again today.
#4. I have come to the realization that if I am not willing to change my current domestic situation, then I am left to live with it. Shut up or get out.
#5. I have started seeing myself in the mirror and realizing that even though I am a 40 year old woman who has had three children and is carrying an extra 20 pounds, I am attractive. Actually in certain setting and certain light, I am pretty, even beautiful.
#6. I have read the Vibrator thread on Relationship Board in it's entirety, and I am intrigued, not embarassed. I do not think I am a pervert any more. I've learned way more about Susan, Tamar, and Fairywings than I ever thought I would, and I like that. I like hearing women share their stories of self satisfaction. It humanizes me.
#7. I have developed a feeling of love through friendship with my spouse. This may change the first time he whines, snivels, becomes disrespectful, etc. But for now, I can tolerate him, which goes a long way in my efforts to try to get along.
#8. I have come to the realization that I don't have to be romantically in love with someone to be at peace with myself. I have nothing to prove to anyone. I have made a pact with myself to try to lose weight, to work on my facial skin treatment diligently, and quit stressing over the fact that I can't get into those jeans in my closet. I will try to like myself.
#9. I have made a descision to be more supportive of others and less self centered. Through mutual support, friendships are forged, and helping is healing.
and finally,
#10. October is almost over, and I lived through it. I am not the only one who has suffered my losses, other share in my grief, and have their own to bear. There are people out there who love me for me, have never told me different, and have never expected me to conform to their rules of how a woman should act. I have three beautiful children who love me and a husband who adores me, thinks I am sexy and beautiful and I think I should start trying to like that.
Nuff Said
AdaGrace
poster:AdaGrace
thread:572357
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051021/msgs/572357.html