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October Is, ***trigger***

Posted by AdaGrace on October 17, 2005, at 19:05:20

The month that my mom died.
7 years ago Saturday, Oct. 15th.

The month of the birthday of the person I love, and can't seem to get over.
41 yrs old October 5th.

The month that I lost the one I love.
Last year Oct. 29th

The month of the episode of drunken one night stand, that bordered on rape, that I push back into the back of my mind and lock the door on.
Last year Oct. 30th

The month that I lost my mind. Last year, 2004

The month that I have been given a few brief moments of hope, but nothing more. This year, a week ago.

The month that that ray of hope was squelched. This year, last saturday, when a hello wasn't even worth his time.

The month that someone else told me I wasn't worthy of his time. This year, last saturday, when I was once again erased from existence.

The month that life stands still.

The month that I cannot seem to get through without a lot of alcohol, a lot of tears, and a lot of pain.

I can't wait for January, when everything is dead, everything is cold, and everything is gone. Then is the time I feel appropriately depressed.

AdaGrace


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poster:AdaGrace thread:568272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051015/msgs/568272.html