Posted by rainbowbrite on October 15, 2005, at 8:38:35
In reply to Re: CLARIFICATION Alexandra » rainbowbrite, posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 4:58:55
> I have been! there was no trigger to the post in question.
--no. but it was going to be about understanding triggers etc - which kind of implies that she was having difficulty there.
I am not talking about this post! this post was not what upset me! When I read the upsetting post ON ANOTNER board I babbled DEneb, asking to put trigger on certasin things SO THAT I COULD AVOID IT. its a very vulnerable feeling to do that and say this is my pain could you warn me in advance. This was my response!! This thread. NO acknowledgement, nothing. No reply from her BUt this thread. I let her know exactly what it was, why it bothered me and then this thread!! Does it make sense now? once again it was NOT this thread.
It was a personal thing, and I was trying to gently let her know and ask becasue of my issues if she would put trigger on certain topics so I could avoid. WAs that so wrong of me? was that too selfish of me? I offered to be there if she needed. PLease was that so wrong? should I have posted a thread about it insteasd? I didnt want to because of how it hurts me, I didnt want DEneb to feel attacked, but her own thread did that. Maybe that is what the goal was, I dont knwo. i just wanted her to know where I was defective and that maybe if she wouldnt mind warning me. i didnt want to make a big deal about it. So this was the response Am I overreacting? Im upset this thread happened,,,NOT becasue of the TRigger issue though. because I feel like either she didnt respect me or i dont know...As I said before, I must be too sensitive.> To me it feels like this is all a repeat over adn over agian but done with slightly differnet words.
>i think that because of last time (where there was a joke)
you might be primed to see it that way this time too?
no I thought last time was not a joke, in fact I think that was about 5 threads like this ago. I cant remember but I do not have that fresh in my mind, I was trying to explain to her how she comes accross at times.
I know Deneb is in very real excruciating pain at times. I just wish she was more receptive to help. I feel for her, it must be very difficult. I hope that one day seh talks to her paresnt and explains her pain, I hope that one day she will trust her pdoc and do what he recomends, I hope that one day she gets treatment because she is a very smart girl who could make a diffenrece. I care about what happens to Deneb, and I hope she is ok. I really do.
>maybe avoid all of denebs posts with 'trigger' or 'suicide' in the subject header?again, I had been..there was no trigger
>i don't think you are too sensitive.
i have to avoid some posts at times too.
don't even open them.
>other people open them
other people may well be in a better place to deal with them
other people respond to them>and then when one is feeling better one may be able to read.
or not...
but there are other people here and there is no obligation to read everything.I do the same thing, I was not in the mood to read anything triggery, I was on my way out, I was just checking to see how she was doing in a follow up thread on another board, not this thread. this thread upsetme only becasue I couldnt understand how AFTER my babble she still didnt understand. It hurt. To me It felt like this was to stir people up. If she wanted further explanation she could have asked me. Does anyone understand what Im saying? I feel like Im not being clear. I was/am insulted by this thread :-( but it really matters to me that you understand that it was not this thread, I saw it and my face went red from anger and I burst into tears, That is orobably not a time to post but.. i was upset that I had had such an intense reaction to babble. kind of scared me.
i understand not knowing what to put trigger on, I do. It took me forever to understand the concept of trigger. I learned the impact recenl=tly. What I do not understnad is how someone elses pain can not be understood. Its just empathy. If you babbled me adn said....hey rain when you get stressed at school it really triggers mee and I get really worked up because of a personal issue (stupid example I know) would you mind putting trigger when you post that? How would you feel if I wrote publicly on the boards "hi everyone, i dont understand trigger, I dont understnad why certain people are affected buy a word, I dont understand etc." do you see what Im saying? I felt awful. It felt invalidating. I thought I must be overreacting.>sometimes i have trouble with particular posters even and we just seem to kind of ignore each others posts.
well Im going to stay away for a bit, and I will not be reading anymore of Denebs posts becasue I cant trust it when there is NO trigger that it wont be a trigger.
> Also forgetting happens to everyone. But how can you forget something like this? What I was trying to say is I just cant understand that.
>when its your trauma...
it can be hard to figure out how to forget it.Im confused? she shouldnt forget then? That was a resoinse to you sayng she forgets about all this, sorry if I wasnt clear.
my itital post on this thread to Deneb was not meant to be understodd by anyone other thatn Deneb, sorry for cbeing confusing.
Am I being clear? Will someone tell me if they know what Im saying before I lose it?Thanks
poster:rainbowbrite
thread:566599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051015/msgs/567132.html