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Re: a friend blowing me off b/c I told her...

Posted by dominique on October 3, 2005, at 21:12:57

In reply to a friend blowing me off b/c I told her..., posted by JenStar on September 30, 2005, at 17:30:53

> hi all,
> I think a friend of mine is blowing me off because I told her I was depressed. I don't think she understands.
>
> The truth is, she called me to see if I wanted to go out a few weekends ago; she called on Friday and Saturday and I didn't call back at all, even though we had tentatively discussed seeing a movie a few days prior. I didn't call b/c I was feeling really low and depressed and anxious, and I couldn't bear to be with anybody, and I just completely didn't want to talk or hang out or anything.
>
> On Monday I told her that I wasn't trying to be a b**ch and I wasn't blowing her off, and that I was sorry, but I was having a rough patch and just didn't want to talk. I apologized for not calling her back. She was kind of distant and cold and didn't really seem to understand or care. Then, since then, she's ignored my emails and has not called at all.
>
> This is a friend with whom I been friends for years. Lately I've felt we're growing apart, and we've both been spending more time with other, separate friends. But I don't want to lose her ENTIRELY.
>
> I know it was bad of me not to call her and just quickly explain that I was not feeling up to going out or even chatting on the phone. I should not have just ignored her calls. I feel bad about that, and it was probably a stupid and insensitive thing to do. But I was hoping, since we'd been friends for so long, that she'd understand after the fact. Instead, she's really being kind of a jerk about it.
>
> Any advice?
> JenSTar

Tough one....
I'm sure we've all been through trials like this. There are times when I myself want to talk with no one and being around people only P!$$e$ me off (as if I could strangle them); if your friend doesn't understand what you are going through then you have other friends/babblers to talk through. If you truly want to keep this friendship then email her a note that you two need to talk (not a forward) and/or leave her a phone message saying the same. If she doesn't reply or not take you up on the offer, it isn't as if you haven't tried. And she may be going through some things also. It may not be that she doesn't want to talk to you, maybe she just doesn't understand you, or feels she can't help you?????? Some people run from these kind of things. Hopefully she will come around and you two may mend your friendship....don't give up!!!
Smiles
Dom


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