Posted by fairywings on July 26, 2005, at 8:47:53 [reposted on July 26, 2005, at 23:49:27 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Against the wall, posted by Jimmy Go on July 26, 2005, at 6:50:33
Hi Jimmy,I'm glad you're still here, and I'm glad you have good days. I hope that knowing the bad feelings/days will pass can get you through them. Teresa is right, I'm sure you're a good father even though you aren't feeling well right now. It's not your fault, you'd feel good if you could. There's nothing that could ever replace you in your kids eyes. Not being there would hurt more than being there and feeling depressed. Please keep yourself safe.
Is it possible that you need a change in meds? Have you posted to the meds board? There are some really knowledgable people over there, like SLS - maybe post to him directly. Do you have confidence in your p-doc? You have to tell him how you feel! He can't help you unless he knows how bad you've felt and for how long. I don't think they'll hospitalize you, but might have you sign a contract where you'll get help immediately if you start to feel suicidal.
A therapist is a good idea. It's really hard to tell someone when you feel so bad, esp. when you're embarrassed about it, or afraid of them knowing, but when you find a good T, they can help you through it. Most Ts have heard it all, nothing you could say would shock them. I think the standard now is signing a no harm contract, at least that seems to be what I'm reading.
As far as disability. I hope you get it, I know you should be able to get it. My dad's wife got social security disability when she was in her late 50's, is still getting it. She was a very high paid professional, but got lazy as all get out, and just didn't want to work anymore, so she pretended to have all kinds of mental problems which she never had before. I don't advocate that, I can't stand the woman or what she stands for. It's unfair to people who need disability, like you. What I'm trying to say is that if someone like that, who doesn't deserve it can get it, someone who really deserves it, like you, should be able to.
fairywings
poster:fairywings
thread:534026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050726/msgs/534029.html