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Re: I *am* too disordered for certain forums :-( » Deneb

Posted by alexandra_k on July 26, 2005, at 18:22:21

In reply to Re: I *am* too disordered for certain forums :-( » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2005, at 23:34:45

> Thanks for trying to be comforting, but no, it is not really any consolation to hear that I'm not the only person negatively affected by interacting there.

Okay. Still, at least you know you aren't the only one. So it is not that there is anything wrong with you in particular - if it is a matter of something being 'wrong' (which I don't really think it is...) then there is something wrong with the both of us at least, and probably many others as well...

> I really liked what you said about life and death...that we will die soon enough...it perplexes me and comforts me at the same time...it makes me feel like I'm not a freak for wanting to die, yet it makes me realize that I can decide to *live* my life if I really want to...that it is up to me. :-)

:-) Yeah... I like it too.

> I also like another quote...
> "Don't take take life too seriously, because you will never get out of it alive." :-)

I like that too... It reminds me of Wittgenstein 'death is not an even in life because death is not lived through'.

Also: 'life is what happens while you are making other plans...'

It is like we are so much in the past and the future that we miss the NOW. But the NOW is all there is really. It is the NOW that makes up ones life. There is something of a paradox in that.

I think I may have mentioned this before... One of my old CBT therapists did not know what to do with me with respect to my morbid preoccupation. She was a good CBT therapist but she also was quite arty and very fond of france... She suggested I read "Camus" "The Myth of Sysphus". Now I know I've tried to suggest that before and had problems with the spelling but I'll try to get the link right...

He begins with (paraphrased 'cause I can't quite remember...) There is but one philosophical question of any real importance: Is one morally obliged to kill oneself? And the book is an investigation into that. It is pretty morbid... But if you are thinking about that stuff already you probably won't find it morbid. He reaches the conclusion that it is better to live in a spirit of defiance or something like that. But not defiance in the angry pissed off sense. It may be worth a read. He doesn't shirk from the hard questions.

 

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