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Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » sleepygirl

Posted by TamaraJ on June 4, 2005, at 20:26:15

In reply to Re: Hey, sleepygirl, how did the first day go? » TamaraJ, posted by sleepygirl on June 4, 2005, at 19:33:15

I have never seen an episode of "Hell's Kitchen", but I have seen commercials for it. That guy is an absolute turd!!! I don't know what would give anyone the right to abuse others like that. Probably low self-esteem. I worked with this guy years ago (my first full-time job in an office when I was about 19), and he was a yeller and liked to demean people. Anyway, he was away one time, and something was not handled very well in his absence. So, he starts chewing out me and the guy who was filling in for him while he was away. Well, it scared the crap out of me, and I just burst out laughing in his face (I was a nervous wreck and, I guess, just got a bit hysterical). Well, he stops ranting and asks me what is so funny. So, I say - You are, carrying on like this in front of everyone. I was convinced I would be fired, but, no, from that point on, he treated me with such respect and kindness. It was bizaare.

But, I know what you mean about the ogre inside. I spent many years telling myself how stupid I was, how incompetent I was, what a miserable piece of crap I was . . .. Even when I was promoted and given exceptional achievement awards at work I was sure that it was just a matter of time before they found out what a loser I really was. I don't do it as much now, and, until I got sick, I didn't feel as stressed or anxious at work or elsewhere. I think, as hard as it is to do, we need to work on reminding ourselves that the only one we really need to impress is ourself, because once we have impressed ourself and can say "you know what, I am not half bad", then we won't worry nearly as much about what others think or whether our efforts were good enough. Our successes will be measured by the smile on our faces (which, obviously won't be there everyday. Even the most well-adjusted person [if there is such a thing], has a bad day or two), and our ability to look in the mirror and say "I done good today".

I hope we both will be more than ok someday very soon as well. And, sorry for the long message. I think I have a bad case of verbal diarreah these days. Yipes, someone hand me the Immodium, quick!!

Take care.

Tamara


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