Posted by Susan47 on May 29, 2005, at 14:06:33
In reply to Re: Hi guys » Susan47, posted by Toph on May 28, 2005, at 12:03:01
No it's not like that. These people are either losing it or have lost it, and I'm not a care aide or social worker, I do clerical work; my contact with the patients consists of calming them when I can, giving them kleenex when they cry or sob uncontrollably - something in their brains just turns it on and they cannot turn it off easily; it seems that they're sobbing from the deepest pit of their soul, it's that emotive, you know? But the reality is that they're not even in there; the sobbing has no lasting meaning for them because they have no clear, direct memory left ... these people are no longer capable of thinking in any way for themselves .. it's endless, continual madness. And you smile at them in the hall.. last week a woman (I say "woman" but in reality we call her by her name, and we speak of her affectionately, even when we're frustrated by her behaviours) grabbed me, she tried to pull and push me into her room so I could dress her, you have to be careful and always watch your back because some are very violent and aggressive, it's interesting .. Friday morning I watched this lovely old man sit and shave his lip for five minutes, then move onto the blanket in his lap, shaving his blanket back and forth, back and forth, in this little six-inch area. Then the aide took the electric shaver away from him, and he started agitatedly pacing .. I think that's a sign of Parkinson's but I'm not sure, I know other things are commonly exhibited behaviours of particular illnesses, dementia has one set of behaviours, Alzheimer's another, Parkinson's yet another, and it's fascinating, heartbreaking, and thought-provoking work, but it's only my practicum. I didn't realize until my second week there how much I enjoyed the unit itself, the nurses, the aides, the patients even, some of them I just want to hug, they're so vulnerable in their helplessness, like little babies, their minds aren't functioning in a way that can calculate any more than an immediate outcome, they're so innocent of that
But they're not babies, unlike a baby, they're not moving forward, things will not begin to have clarity and meaning, for them, things are going backward at a much faster pace than a baby moves forward .. it's Life, turning in on itself, folding itself up ....
I have no place there.. yet ... have thirty or so resumes to drop off this week in diff. hospital units, and then it's casual work, sometimes for Years ... no benefits .. this is what people give up for an interesting career, y'know? It's well-known that a career in hospital, although high-stress, is very rewarding .. and everyone gets shafted ... you can only take so much "reward" before the scales tip the other way, too. I wish I were twenty again ... I sound like George Burns ... wasn't he "Georgie" to Gracie? I would love to hear some of their stuff right now.
Sometimes, you know, I wonder about my own sanity; do we all do that? Do you do that Toph?
poster:Susan47
thread:502969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050525/msgs/504755.html