Posted by woolav on April 25, 2005, at 10:23:58
Okay, slight backround. Ive been married for 10 months (second marriage) kinda rushed into it. I met and started dating my current husband 4 months after I left my first. Anyway. first thing, I went to see a T for the first time (i talked about this b4, sorry for being redundent) and he says that he believes me to have a mild form of BP. (my pdoc had me on meds for BP, but never told me i had it) So, my T wants to teach me how to tell when I am going into an episode of either depression or mania so I can prevent it. (have no idea how he will do that) but anyway. I apparently had what he called a hypomania episode -I began chatting on the internet (yahoo)and at first I just wanted to see what other guys thought of me. I have insecurity issues and need the re-assurance that I am attractive. (dont know why I am like this) but, I sent some pics of myself to local men and they all said i was hot and wanted to meet of course. So, I was enjoying the attention from these men and feeling sexy etc..Finally I met one guy (really as a friend) and we had 1 drink together and talked on the phone some. But he wanted a relationship and knew I couldnt give him that and he, nor I, wanted an affair, so we said goodbye. That was that. Well, my husband found out that i had been chatting and flirting sexually with these men and even found out that I met the one guy for the drink. Needless to say he is very upset, and feels he cant trust me anymore. And I understand. But I dont know why I did what I did other than for the attention. I really dont think i would have gone through with an actual sexual affair, it wasnt about that for me. But my husband thinks it was and now feels I did do it or will again. After going through all this (still going on) I realize how much I hurt my husband and realize that I love him and dont want anyone else. I just dont know if he can truely get past this and ever trust me again. It seems he is obsessed about it now, he cant think of anything else. I think it was a hypomania episode, but it really is uncharactristic for me to be like that. But he thinks its a cop out. Is this a forgiveable thing that I did???????????
S
poster:woolav
thread:489208
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050418/msgs/489208.html