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Re: In and of Itself.. Damos » Susan47

Posted by damos on April 17, 2005, at 22:01:08

In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 19:55:47

LMAO!!!!!!!!! Super-special, oh no. Intolerable to be around Oh-Yeh!!! My life hasn't been bad by any means, something just got kinda screwed up somewhere along the line. G*d I remember the day I turned 21 and one of the girls in the office said "I thought you were 30 at least I can't believe it." Boy I so hope what you say is true..I keep on hoping. Big Sigh. Another big sigh.

Can you believe I have trouble sitting on the lounge (couch) with anyone for an extended period and even worse I've almost never managed to spend the entire night in the same bed as another person. It's really upsetting for a woman to wake and find you on the lounge, in the spare room or on the floor at the foot of the bed. Can't explain the sensation that drives that behaviour but it's an actual physical pressure. Getting to know someone - really know them is more important than being physical with them for me.

I've been working really hard on getting sorted and my energetic healing therapist says the improvement from the first time she saw me is remarkable. Funny during one session she kept calling me Tom. Said the name just kept coming to her each time she went to say my name and the feeling was that it was my name not that of someone associated with me. She's really intuitive and been 100% spot on with a number of things that she couldn't have guessed and had certainly not even been hinted at. I am finding that the more love and acceptance I put out into the world, the more returns to me, and that's got to be good.

Funny, the image of a girl I was totally in love with from the 5th grade right through high school just came into my head. I know she knew how I felt and can see now how she tried to help me without embarrassing me, and how I never managed to say or do anything. Hopeless.

Kinda think my role in life is just to be safe place for people to be. Just to be a place of safety where they can be themselves without worrying about all the other BS. Where they can regain their strength, mend their wings, get a hand up, feel supported and cared for, listened to and loved, and then go back out into the world again when they feel strong enough. And I 'm okay with that. Maybe someday someone will want to stay.

 

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