Posted by Broken on March 23, 2005, at 12:40:35
You know.. what's new?
You grow up, grow old, watch people live and die around you, and wonder when is it your turn.
You take pills to sleep, take them to stay awake, take them to stay alive, take them to be happy.
You dont take them to be sad. Not that I know of, not that I have ever seen anyway.
And people ask me now, because I was sick I was throwing up, and I had to leave work, because I wanted to be normal, and not take pills.
So now they all know I was not normal, am not normal.."Why did you take those pills anyway? You didn't need them."
What the f*ck? Who decides that? What does someone have to be to not need them? What is/was my f*cking list missing? The list you have to have to "need medicine".
Raped before the age of 6...? Oh, Check, we have that one.
Raped again before age 16? Oh, that one is on the list too? ok Check..
Dead parent? Witnessing the death of said parent also by age 16? Damn, that one is on there too.. Check..Ohhh.. ok I understand, it's a "what have you done for me lately" type of test huh. Well, you have me there pretty much. I mean, since I have been old enough and big enough to defend myself there has not been a huge amount of trauma. So yeah, I guess I should be normal.
So, I stopped taking those pills, so I could be normal, and I quit seeing a therapist, so I could be normal, and I threw my guts up and laid in bed so I could be normal.
Well, you know what? I still dont feel f*cking normal. And you know what else? Now I dont feel normal, and I don't feel like such a nice f*cking person anymore either. And I am not such a happy f*cking person anymore.
But, I dont have to take a pill to be sad do I? So, am I normal now? Is this what "normal" means? Are you happy now that I am normal?
poster:Broken
thread:474613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050316/msgs/474613.html