Posted by jay on February 26, 2005, at 0:14:41
In reply to Re: shellybelle911 and jay, posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 10:51:13
> Please don't let yourself feel that it is so simple to suddenly decide you like yourself and "that you should just do it".
>
> I would never presume to say it is so simple.
>
> Little babysteps to start. I used to pretend I was on a twentieth date with someone I felt comfortable with and let that someone get to know ME. Not as I thought they would want me to act; but as I truly felt like acting. I was surprised to find that there was a lot more to like about myself if you actually let myself BE myself; and not what other expected of me.
>
> I have come to decide that for me, the toxic relationships were "allowed" by me. I didn't think highly enough about myself to say, "wow, you're mean- I don't think I want to associate with someone like you" to someone who mistreated me. I thought they were mistreating me because I did something wrong!
>
> There is nothing wrong with being you, no matter who YOU turn out to be. You will find others that like you just the way you are.
>
>Well, sorry, but I think people use manipulation and other toxic ways to come "stealth" their way into a relationship. It's not *my* responsibility if someone is an as*hole, just that these things don't usually surface until you are in a relationship for awhile. Manipulative, mind-f*kers are like that...they are like birds of prey..come in under the radar and *attack*. Believe me...I know my psychology...I am a social worker.
Jay
poster:jay
thread:461645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050224/msgs/463540.html