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Re: Jujube, how are you doing?

Posted by KaraS on February 14, 2005, at 21:03:07

In reply to Re: Jujube, how are you doing? » KaraS, posted by jujube on February 14, 2005, at 16:22:54

Hi Tamara,
>
> > Thanks. Anxiety can be so devastating. It will be nice to get more control of this depression too.
>
> -- I agree with you. I think people who have never suffered from an anxiety order or had a panic attack don't understand or realize just how it can affect a person's quality of life. It's funny, my father would sometimes have these incredible panic attacks (you know, the hand on the chest "this is the big one Elizabeth, hyperventilating, etc. type of episode). And, he was always very demonstrative and vocal when he was having one - EVERYBODY knew. Yet, once it was over and he calmed down, he never gave it another thought. When I have had a panic attack on a much smaller scale, it takes me days to regroup and stop worrying about the next one. I don't know how some people move on so quickly after such an experience. I wish I could. Perhaps with time I will learn to manage my anxiety better. Who knows.

I haven't had major problems with anxiety in many years (probably because I was taking either a low dose of a TCA and/or was on an SSRI) and so even I had forgotten how debilitating it can be. If someone like me who has suffered with it can forget how awful it is, then how can those who've never suffered with it be able to understand? Your description of your father's panic attacks is a riot. Maybe his were more drama than real panic? I just don't understand either how anyone can easily put it behind them and move on.

> I am sure that you will get the depression under control once you decide on a new med. I am sending positive thoughts your way in that regard. Having the anxiety under control is, at least, half the battle. And, being able to sleep better and eat well can only have a somewhat positive effect on the depression.

Yes, being able to function now is half the battle. Hopefully adding something else (medication or SJW) will help with the rest.


> > Your doctor sounds so conservative. It's not like you were asking for narcotics or anything. Nort. is such a standard drug. Hopefully the Provigil will help. I'm glad you're eating and sleeping better now. I was having a terrible time with that lately. I may have mentioned it earlier (can't remember) but I was drinking Gatorade and Ensure just to make sure I didn't get dehydrated or sick. It's the worst when you can't eat or sleep.
>
> -- My doctor is conservative. He does not seem in the least progressive in terms of treatment. Monotherapy all the way. His view on the nort was that since I couldn't tolerate Anafranil, I wouldn't be able to tolerate nort. He's the doctor, so I gave up and just said I'll take care of things myself. He called back the next day and said he would let me try Provigil. So, I'll see how it goes.

My fingers are crossed for you. Hope it works out. A lot of people on the main board seem to like it a lot.


> Gotta love Gatorade and Ensure! I have had periods of a month or more when I have had to live mostly on Ensure because I was so nauseated that eating was a real trial. I hope you are able to eat a bit better now. And, I hope your sleep continues to improve.

So you have definitely been in the same boat I've been in. Not fun. I'm eating pretty normally right now and sleep is good as well. (In fact getting out of bed is the hard part now.) Hope that you're eating and sleeping regularly too.


> > Lately, I wish I weren't so nice. I think I'd rather be tougher. I'm looking forward to medication making me less sensitive. That probably sounds horrible but maybe you know what I mean.
>
> I do know what you mean. It can be a blessing and a curse. But, toughness comes in many forms. And, the fact that you have been able to hang on and perservere during difficult times proves you are tough. One does not have to sacrifice sensitivity in order to be tough. But, I guess you are right, a delicate balance would be most welcome. I hate myself when I am harsh (and am still beating myself up over something I posted that I regret. Something I will have to live with I guess.).

Why is it that we're so much harder on ourselves than we would be on others? Our perfectionism perhaps? Anyway, I'm sure you apologized for the post that concerns you and the recipient probably bears no ill will either. I do think that it is possible to find that delicate balance of being tough when you need to be and yet retain your sensitivity and empathy with others. It's very hard to locate that balance however - but I'm working on it.

> Take good care Kara, be well and let me know how things are going for you please. I'm thinking of you and wishing you only good things.
> > >
> > > Tamara
>

Same to you and definitely let me know how the Provigil works out. (If not, there's always that special doctor you're seeing in March. :-))

Kara


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