Posted by Angielala on February 1, 2005, at 12:39:34
In reply to Re: Has anyone gotten to Real Life after depression?, posted by Skinny_and_dark on January 30, 2005, at 13:07:09
This is all I have figured out...
"After" depression life is different.. is it our brains? No.. it's us figuring out that life isn't what "normal" people think it is. We see it differently because we see that dark side of it too... is this a bad thing- yeah, for us, during that dark time... but when we are out of it, we can use it to our advantage... I know this sounds hokey, but we can better balance our lives knowing what is really important.
Firstly, our health. We start figuring out our triggers, and then we can stay away from those. Like my mother-in-law for example. She drives me crazy (literally). She makes me feel sick constantly and makes me feel like less of a person. So what I did, was figure out what compells her to do that. I found that she has been looking for an "inferior role model" for years. For years this lady has been made to feel "dumb". Now I realize it's not me, and when she starts that crap, I now know what to fire back with... "Gee, Ma, you seem pretty mean today" and then she feels horrible, and tries to explain what she means... just seeing her stumble over words and feeling embarassed makes me feel better. Is this a bad thing... some might think so- but truth is, why should I feel like I need to make people feel comfortable when they don't think twice about helping me out? It seemed harsh at first, but now it seems to keep her in line, and makes her think before she says something to me...
That's just one random example... I guess to sum it up, once we start getting out of that depressed way of thinking, we can start gaining control. Just realize it doesn't happen over night. And each step you take, as small as it might seem to you, reward yourself... even if you have someone else pressuring you to make bigger steps. Honestly, think "Screw them" if people don't understand, it's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel as thought you need to explian every single thing to them. With time you'll figure out how to explain things, how to avoid triggers and you'll see that it's an uphill battle that we can turn into a plateau... as long as we go at our own pace. That's Real Life, despite what "normal" people might say/think.
Just a thought...
poster:Angielala
thread:32031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050128/msgs/451035.html