Posted by partlycloudy on January 24, 2005, at 8:01:24
Huge progress in the last year and a bit. I'm on Cymbalta and my anxiety has all but vanished. Panic attacks occur rarely. My new therapist and I are "working" on my self esteem and confidence, whatever that means.
But, I'm still depressed. Not always bawl your eyes out depressed like it was, but there is a pall cast over my world, apparently perpetually. Every day is a struggle to smile and play nice. I get home and collapse with the effort. I can take some pleasure in parts of my life, but most activities just don't seem worth trying. I feel flat, like someone took the peaks and valleys in my heart and ironed them out so they look nice and smooth and aren't bumpy any more.
I can handle bad days - I do it every week. But I sure could handle some good days much easier. All the weight I lost through exercise while on sick leave reappeared when I stopped taking Wellbutrin. Guess what was supressing my appetite? So I'm a flubbery, roly poly indifferent lump. Who is no longer anxious or panicky.
poster:partlycloudy
thread:446677
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050123/msgs/446677.html