Posted by Susan47 on January 16, 2005, at 6:23:49
In reply to Re: It needs to End, Soon. » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2005, at 1:04:21
You both are so sweet, thanks for trying to help.
I'm really getting tired of everything.
I'm looking for a job again, my fourth this will be, in less than a year. Much less. I keep getting seasonal work, I'm training for something more serious and meanwhile I need to eat.
THis is horrible. My children aren't with me.
My ex-T started an investigation on me 'cuase I think he felt he had to from what I said about myself - I HOPE he felt he had to, I hate to think he did it because he's malicious and unthinking.
ANyway, it's all a bad life right now.
I can't seem to see it being any different.
I feel like making plans for my demise, now.
I know that's not good but maybe it's not bad either?
I'm prety sure I have the method down.
I need to tie up loose ends first.
I hope I don't get that far, really, becuase I don't want to damage my children with it, I mean, suicide isn't nice for kids.
I just hate life so much, after what happened today it feels like the last straw.
Everything looks so bad.
I don't WANT to reach out to friends, either. I don't want to burden anybody with myself, everybody has too much else to worry about.
I had the worst nightmare in years tonight, so much abuse in our world.
My children are asleep, they're with mje tonight, I love them so much and it feels so good to have them with me.
But I'm a disappointment to the living.
poster:Susan47
thread:442634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050116/msgs/442688.html