Posted by Atticus on January 8, 2005, at 20:49:20
In reply to Wake up people! I need friends, posted by crushedout on January 8, 2005, at 10:42:50
Oops. Must've set my watch on Sydney time again. Or else it's just stopped running. You'd expect higher quality from a plastic timepiece with a Batman logo bought off a vendor on Madison. What's the world coming to?
Well, alright, it's 9 p.m. -- time to get up for real. Sorry I'm so late, crushed. But I'm only, what, 10 hours late, give or take.I did see an elderly man wearing (God's honest truth) a Mets combo baseball cap/propellor beanie along First yesterday. The sections of the cap's crown were in different colors, creating a circular rainbow. Was greatly disappointed when he was unable to achieve sustained flight. What a bloody tease.
Clearly, he needed to add a long tail of string and bits of newspaper like you do with a kite, then rig a harness that unspools bungee cord, flag down a passing cab, hook the harness to the bumper, and tell the driver to floor it.
Potential downside: old guy in propellor hat tails sharply off to right, crosses York, and comes down on the FDR or in the East River.
Potential upside: I appear on the evening news (don't tell me Fox5 wouldn't have jumped all over a story like that) saying that I saw the whole thing and give the man's name as Dr. Robert Hsiung of Chicago. I add that a remembrance will be held at Strawberry Fields on the west side of the Park at 10 a.m. the next day. I note that Dr. Hsiung was trying to raise funds through the stunt so Larry Hoover could finally get the sex-change operation he had spoken of on Psycho-Babble with such passion and fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a lesbian. Then, a job well done, I go back to my apartment and have some cocoa. The kind with marshmallows.
But, of course, none of this happened due to poor planning by the beanie man. I mean, Christ, he was too lazy to even try flapping his arms a few times. No excuse for that kind of lackadaisical attitude, I say. Your pal, Atti
poster:Atticus
thread:439377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050106/msgs/439574.html