Posted by saw on November 16, 2004, at 2:47:44
I have handled my father's death relatively well. My husband is amazed due to my mental illness.
This got me to thinking. Is it my illness that gave me this strength? So many lesser things will have me falling to the ground in a puddle of tears whilst proclaiming that I simply can't cope!
The year hasn't been kind to me:
1. My son started school
2. Burnout at work in January and February
3. Gave up smoking in March
4. Moving house a week before getting married in May. And NOT wanting to move.
5. Birth control that almost killed me mentally, changed me physically and left me bleeding on my wedding day
6. Marriage
7. A week after marrying, already talking about divorce.
8. Admitting and submitting to depression
9. Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic
10. Son diagnosed with ADHD after school warning
11. Started my own medication
12. Wrecked self image due to weight gain from medication
13. Changing medication and no weight loss yet
14. Trying to find a vanished sex drive
15. Death of father
16. Moving house againAdd this to all the usual, stressors of daily life. And I am left wondering, why carry on kicking a dog when it's down? I am sorry for myself but I wonder who decides what and how much rubbish can be dished out to a person who is already suffering?
And then I wonder if I cope with a monumental situation such as death because I can't cope with small things?
Forgive me for being so selfish, I kinda feel I have had my fair share of nasty hand-outs this year. I need a bit of a break.
Sabrina
poster:saw
thread:416522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041114/msgs/416522.html