Posted by Larry Hoover on October 17, 2004, at 10:33:39
In reply to Re: Yet Another Personality Test, posted by alesta on October 17, 2004, at 0:11:22
> lar, just curious, have you learned to *give* praise as well? i would think that would be an area someone with narcissistic tendencies (however subtle) might need to work on...perhaps your parents had narcissistic tendencies as well? no need to answer, mate..just tossing it out there. :-)
>
> amy :)There are a variety of subtle forms of childhood abuse, often through the absence of a normal behaviour. My mom, in particular, had a distorted world view that it was nearing sinful to use praise, or to accept it. I call it, for simplicity, The "Yes, but" Syndrome. Somebody says something nice, and you need to argue against it, dismiss their judgment, trivialize their praise..... Believe me, it's a good way to shut down other people.
So, giving praise also became associated with upset feelings. It's not pleasant to have your own offering of praise dismissed and trivialized. I really don't think narcissism had anything to do with it.
I'm 47, and I'm still working on getting over it. Every time I offer praise, I get anxious. That's not at all about my personality, IMHO.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:403942
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041016/msgs/404115.html