Posted by partlycloudy on October 4, 2004, at 12:02:10
Except to say that I tired of feeling tired. Of feeling nauseous, cranky, weepy, sore, angry, frightened, panicked, anxious. I'm tired of migraine headaches. I'm tired of congnitive problems, not knowing where I am on the drive home from work. I want to feel - nothing. I don't care if I feel good, I just don't want to feel this bad any more. I have a list of people as long as my arm whom I'm ticked off at, probably for no good reason at all. I'm tired of feeling embarassed about my anxious and panic attacks. I can live without drinking but at least it took me away from this awfulness, even if it made it much worse later. I'm tired of my mind thinking of things for my "to do" list that I'll never get to. I'm tired of feeling guilty for not getting to them.
I wish I didn't have to work but I think it is the only thing keeping me going sometimes. But - I'm tired of keeping up appearances, pasting that smile on my face when I want to curl up under my desk.
OK, that's enough for now. At least I'm back to using capital letters and punctuation.
pc
poster:partlycloudy
thread:398801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041001/msgs/398801.html