Posted by KaraS on September 4, 2004, at 13:59:33
In reply to Re: Telling your boss, posted by allisonf on September 4, 2004, at 11:04:36
> Thanks for your thoughts everyone. It's really helpful to hear this point of view since I had been so convinced I should tell him after Friday's meeting. The reason I told the other people I met with on Friday (the people my boss partners with)is that they are a consumer run advocacy group and I may be interested in working for them someday. They pretty much only employ people who are consumers. So when I got there, the woman I met with asked me outright if I was a consumer. I didn't feel the need to lie. In fact, once I told her, she was *so* excited (not a common reaction when telling someone about your mental illness) she wanted to introduce me to everyone in the organization. As she went around and did that, she of course told everyone I was a consumer. I told her that I hadn't told my boss yet...she kind of looked at me like why would I fear so much stigma with him--they have all worked so closely with him for years. For all I know, my boss has a mental illness.
>
> Am I looking for something with my boss that I'm not getting in therapy? That's a good question. I do have this past history of trying to get close to authority figures...but in this case, I have been so much more realistic about our relationship seeing it much more as a business one. I have talked a lot about this issue in therapy and had concluded before last Friday that I wasn't going to tell my boss about it. Then after that meeting, circumstances changed. More than anything it just feels weird to me that all these other people know this about me and he works with them and he doesn't know. Also, I am thinking of starting a self-help group in the near future and he is an authority on self help groups. My name might be on flyers in places he might see. It just seems bizarre that I wouldn't tell him. But I do appreciate what you all are saying--that there might be underlying reasons that are making me conclude it's necessary to when it's really not.
I understand your dilemma more now having heard the rest of the background. It's a tough call...
poster:KaraS
thread:386104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/386391.html