Posted by Emme on August 27, 2004, at 10:43:38
In reply to I think people with problems are nicer ...., posted by owenus32 on August 27, 2004, at 7:58:12
Sometimes that's true. Nothing like firsthand experience and sometimes they're the absolute best people to talk to and help you. Some of those friends have been incredibly helpful to me.
OTOH, on a few occasions I have found that a fellow sufferer wants to be sympathetic, but ultimately does damage. They don't understand why what worked for them doesn't work for you. Maybe they got through their rough times w/o medication or were able to stop meds (so you should be able to also). Or they think they truly understand, but their situation was perhaps milder than yours and so they don't get it that you're really knocked flat. In those instances I feel worse.
I have friends who've never had serious mood or anxiety problems who are great. They know they don't understand directly and accept what I tell them at face value. Those who have watched friends or family suffer are also empathetic.
So yeah, I guess it depends on the person. With my friends who have serious medical issues, I know I can't understand their situation directly, but it helps if they let me ask a lot of questions b/c I want to know what their life is like as much as I can. If someone asks me questions in a non-judgmental way, I take it as a sign that they're unconditionally supportive.
> and more empathetic in general. It's like take some kid from a upper mid class who is good looking ,smart,bright future and you might have a person who is completely cold and not able to sympathize with anyone who is not normal or up to par. Then again you might have a very sensitive person so I guess it depends on the person etc. I just know that people in AA and things like that "feel" for people who are down and generally are less quick to judge them and call the weirdos or screwed up.
poster:Emme
thread:382866
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/382938.html