Posted by B2chica on August 19, 2004, at 9:41:59
In reply to Very triggering memories and questions, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 18, 2004, at 20:43:12
(((Shadows))), my strength and love are with you right now.
about how long about was this? im asking cuz i dont know how long tazors have been around. Although it is NOTHING compared to what you experienced my grandparents had a farm and i remember quite well what the cattle prod looked (and felt like). my brother would swipe it and chase after me "zapping" me many times until i would fall, then those last couple zaps he would fit in while i was frozen on the ground. Its painful but mostly terrifying cuz of the anticipation of knowing what it will feel like next time they get you-that alone sometimes would paralyze you. the prod was a long black pole with two rounded tips at the end-and both tips had to touch you to release the shock.
-unless you are having some medication response, my guess would be Yes those tremors are from you memories. Your body could be "reliving" a physical response you had back then, or just the emotional response to what happened could be causing them. Though i am glad to hear you are getting it checked out by a neurologist.>>After one disturbing memory, I kept wispering promises to do the same to him when he was an old man. I was taken aback by that.
Sometimes we shock ourselves with things we think or say in respose to hurt and injury caused by others, it is an instinct response. it may be shocking but it's what you feel, let yourself feel that. You are angry you want as an adult to fight back in a way that you couldn't growing up. Not only is that normal, it's healthy to get those feelings out, to say them outloud. Only then can we get to the next step.
I am Very sorry you are reliving these painful memories but it must happen. (you know that better than anyone), you must get them out -one at a time- and deal with them as you can. Just take it slow, keep in contact with your therapist/doctors and be very gentle with yourself. This sounds like a good breakthrough. Congratulate yourself when you can and feel good...chin up!
We love you.
I don't know if my words are right, but know my heart is in the right place. I only wish to help you.
Lots of Love
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:379276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/379400.html