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Re: New developements

Posted by TexasChic on August 13, 2004, at 8:46:32

In reply to Re: Crying at my desk again, posted by gardenergirl on August 12, 2004, at 8:27:08

Well, yesterday after work I went over to a co-worker's house (I'll call her P), the one that me and S have always hung out with. Since S has gotten mad at me I've been hanging out exclusively with P, and S has been kind of avoiding us both.

Well yesterday at work, I realized that despite what was said in the meeting, my boss was having S split the work like I asked. I was a little confused as to why but decided this was a chance to prove myself. So here I was doing my work, it was going well and I was going to be finished a day early, and it dawned on me that for the first time in a long time I was actually enjoying my work! That made me realize how much S's attitude had effected me all these months. For some reason this made me finally able to let go of the hurt. I don't know if it was because I was finally getting the satifaction of getting my job done, or just the lack of the negative comments from S, but I actually felt good!

So after work P invited me over and we were hanging out, and she said she noticed the difference in me and was glad I was able to be happy again. After about an hour of being over there S calls and wants to come over and see P. P told her okay, and after she got off the phone I asked her if she told S I was there. She said no, why, will it be weird? And I was like, well.... I thought about it and said, no I don't think it will be. We're both adults. After talking about it a while we decided she should call her back and tell her I was there. So she did, and after she got off the phone she told me S said, yes it would be weird, but she'd come over anyway. Well, that made*me* feel weird so I decided to just go ahead and leave because I had put up with the weirdness enough at work everyday. P didn't want me to leave but said she understood.

So for like two hours I was so upset and feeling sorry for myself imagining them over there talking about me. I waited as long as I could and finally called P, and she said S didn't stay very long and really didn't have much to say. She thought it was kind of strange. But I feel like I know what happened. Yesterday, when I finally let go of the hurt, I started being friendlier and more of the fun loving person I usually am, and I felt as if S noticed and was kind of jealous that everyone was talking to me and going on smoke breaks with me and not her. So I felt like that was what instigated her calling P.

Another thing that occured to me yesterday was that I didn't know what S was mad at me about. I mean, I really can't figure out what it can be! And because she refuses to talk about it with me, it just makes it more frusterating. So now I'm in this weird place between feeling good again and being frusterated because I have no idea what the heck *I* did to *her*.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening/reading. Any comments are welcome.

 

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poster:TexasChic thread:375579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/377124.html