Posted by karen_kay on June 24, 2004, at 18:44:34
so, audiences who are following the story of bean and honey (oh, aren't the names just too cute? bah!) know the dramas and traumas bean has gone through to get the prize of miss honey's love and affection. (in case you haven't here's a quick catch-up: followed by a dinosaur, choked on sandwhich, junky car, and just plain wrong eighties songs. still unable to tell miss honey he loves her. caught up now? if not, go dumpster diving through the archives and read for yourself. this bean sure does have an interesting life, doesn't he?)
Part 3 (is it? i've lost count)
-------------------------------------bean sits by his fireplace, reading and rereading miss honey's file. he's drinking a very stout mellow yellow and reflecting on the past year with miss honey. he's feeling nostalgic and longs for miss honey. or, perhaps he's hungry. he runs to the refrigerator and finds (oh dear!) he has no food, not even a crumb. now, he's had a six pack of mellow yellow and his heart is racing. he's feeling ballsy and considering crossing that line (you know, the one about boundaries and clients.. oh yes folks, that line...). he thinks to himself, 'hmmm, i am hungry. i have no food. outback steakhouse makes a mean bloomin onion. why not?' his excuses matter no longer. so what if he gets fired and his license is yanked. he is a man and everyone knows men care more about food then work.
he picks up the phone and begins to dial miss honey's number. 5 5 5 stop! he can't do it. but, a commercial for outback comes on and he can't control himself any longer. he's like some kind of an animal, needing only to fullfill his animal instincts, which include only food, sex and shelter....
he picks up the phone and dial 5 5 5.. at the last moment, he decides to call his old buddy to advice, a fellow therapist with the most respectable boundaries. his mentor of sorts... the line picks up and he hears that familiar voice 'hello, bubba's office' the conversation is something like this:
bubba: hello
bean: hi bubba. what do you think about me taking a client out for dinner?
bubba: is it olive garden?
bean: no, outback.
bubba: hmmm, is she good looking?
bean: irresistable
bubba: will she buy?
bean: i think i can convince her to.
bubba: ok man, go for it.
bean: what about boundaries?
bubba: what are boundaries?
bean: ok bubba, i'll talk to you later.
bubba: will you bring me left overs?
bean: hang up now bubba.click. bean hangs up the phone and goes back to the fridge. however, there is NO food in sight. and, this is a perfect excuse to talk to miss honey, outside the office.
the mellow yellow has worked as a confidence booster and a 'i can't lose' attitude. he notes how great he feels and adds more mellow yellow to his grocery list. he's on top of the world. she'll say yes, how could she not? he examines himself in the mirror and stares lovingly at his hazel eyes. his receiding hairline looks attractive on him. he notes that even his teeth look a bit less yellowish today. he moves to the phone, takes the last swig of mellow yellow and chokes (now, it couldn't be a story without bean choking, could it?)
he's thinking only of his need for miss honey. he calls her home number and hears 'hello' he begins excitedly 'umm, errr hi miss honey, this is bean..' suddenly he's interrupted with miss honey saying 'i'm not home right now, but if you leave a message, i'll get back to you.' then, that loud, annoying shriek that tells the person on the other line to begin talking.
he quickly hangs up the phone and begins to weep, uncontrollably, for 3 hours straight. he drinks another mellow yellow and has the courage to try yet again. this time, the phone rings 4 times and miss honey answers, 'hello?' he waits to see if it's the answering machine and miss honey says 'listen you jerk, if you call me one more time, i'm going to sick my therapist on you and i assure you, you don't want to mess with him. he's not only handsome but 6'5 and 245 pounds.' bean hangs up, stunned and smiles. 'she likes me, she really really likes me!'
stay tuned children for our next installment of the misadventures of bean and honey.... will they go out for dinner? will he try crest whitestrips? will she change that answering machine message? will they ever share a bloomin onion? will bubba get left-overs? stay tuned and find out!
poster:karen_kay
thread:359943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/359943.html