Posted by beatrix34 on June 2, 2004, at 20:52:36
OK, yesterday I posted on the social board about starting Lex, it was my first day and I felt fine....when I checked back there was no response to that posting today, and wow do I feel like crap.
The first thing I thought when I saw that there was no response, and after seeing how many people on this board are on lex, was that my feelings of being a piece of crap that are consuming the forefront of my mind today must be true. I have that horrible feeling that is "if you only knew me, you wouldn't like me and you would leave me" and that's where I am.
I thought I was doing well tapering off the Effexor but today has been a rollar coaster of emotion. I am depressed, sad, insecure, snappy, and I feel so alone. I don't know why this is happening...I only hope that it lifts with the new meds.
I am also going to a double session of therapy tomorrow to discuss and delve into the rape that happened to me when I was 16, I am now 34 and still dealing with sexual reprecussions. I am terrified to go back there as I still think that somewhere deep in my brain I to this day hold myself accountable in some way. I am hoping that this treatment will help life be better for me in the long run. I have admitted what happened to people but have never actually gone into it in depth in a therapy situation...I find the feelings of shame and worthlessness already coming back just thinking about it.
I am also missing my friends and family, they are all so far away. I just feel like I need a friendly ear and someone to give me a big hug and a cup of tea...I am sad and want to curl up in a ball and hide away where I don't have to deal with the outside world. I felt so great, what happened???
Did anyone else feel like this when switching meds? It's terrible. I hope tomorrow brings a brighter day.
poster:beatrix34
thread:353187
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/353187.html