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RE:: anakin

Posted by mystic on May 30, 2004, at 19:08:05

In reply to Re: increase, posted by Anakin on May 30, 2004, at 18:24:22

Hey I can understand that I think that my mother had problems also but she never handled them very well she just abused her children...When I had melissa I became aware and I made sure that she knew that this is a sickness and illness a biological thing and there is also some things from it that are behavioral..my mother never showed us unconditional love I remember being afraid my whole life always afraid of what was going to happen when I woke in the morning and not knowing there is no excuse for that none at all..So I know that there is some chemical and some behavoral and I broke the cycle with my daughter I taught her not to be scared I taught her that no matter who it is they can cause you pain and they can do things to you that are not acceptible no one ever told me that and my mother knew about my abuse but because it was a family member I guess it was ok...But no more my daughter does have some anxiety and she knows to call me and I can calm her down and I have made her less afraid of meds than I am because I was brainwashed to think that meds where bad..but she knows if she needs them she can take them...I thank god for that...And I also do not blame myself because I know that I was the best mother for her and I know that I did everything right this time I broke the cycle..but it is in our genes sometimes..I appoligize for going on and on but just wanted to get it out....

I guess in a round about way I'm trying to say Anakin if your mother gave you what you needed and the most important thing is love and she had the same problems we have but still gave you unconditional love then you have to have total respect for her because that is what I try to do every day with melissa I try to make sure that she knows that she is loved and that I have some issues that I cannot help or change sometimes...I'm not sure I'm even making sense at this point....but i'm glad that your boyfriend understands that is huge and I hope that he will continue to help you ...as i have said sometimes just being with my husband in a stressful situtation I know that I can leave and I never have to..You are in my prayers and hope to talk to you soon...Hope that I didnt go on and on too much...mystic


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