Posted by pegasus on May 11, 2004, at 12:30:57
In reply to Re: correction, thread taking place in 6 locations, posted by spoc on May 11, 2004, at 11:03:59
I have to agree with a lot of what spoc says, Rod. And, again, I hope that you are open to constructive criticism, and believe that my motivations in writing are to help you communicate more effectively, and to avoid future conflicts on babble. If you don't want to hear a pretty frank critique, please just ignore this post.
I appreciate that you're so concerned about helping people avoid the struggles that you've gone through. And it does sound as though your personal journey has brought you to some conclusions that have been amazingly helpful for you. I'm sure a lot of us could benefit from your insights.
On the other hand, I also feel some resistance to the way you say some things. Often, I just can't follow what you're trying to say, which is a difficulty that seems to be shared by others here.
But more often, I think what puts me off is that I don't perceive a lot of flexibility or openness in your comments. I really appreciate people who present their advice as suggestions, more than as global solutions. Because, really, I think you would agree that no one has *all* of the answers for *everyone*, right? And I also really appreciate a tone of respect for us babblers' inherent intelligence, experiences, discoveries and ability to heal. Maybe it's me, but I often feel a lack of that respect when I read your posts. I think this is similar to spoc's comments about condescension or patronization.
Finally, I believe that the insights that are working so well for you are not necessarily going to be helpful for everyone. I've previously explained my ideas about your child-adult theory perhaps not applying to people who had to grow up too quickly. Many of us have, like you, searched throughout our lives for solutions to our individual problems, sometimes with great success using strategies other than the ones you endorse. It's hard to hear someone insistently and repeatedly presenting a "solution" that doesn't sound helpful to one's own personal situation. Admitting the possibility of your solutions not working for some folks (at least at some stages in their lives) in your writing would probably make it easier to read, at least for me.
Again, I hope this is helpful, and not offensive. It is meant in a spirit of cooperation, and in recognition and appreciation of all that you have contributed to babble.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:345460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/345734.html