Posted by Karen_kay on April 21, 2004, at 19:06:31
In reply to Mentally Ill Friends « deirdrehbrt, posted by Dr. Bob on April 17, 2004, at 12:31:05
well, that's an interesting theory. of all my friends, 2 are mentally ill. one i've known since high school. she wasn't dx until recently. we were friends before either of us were dx as mentally ill, so we didn't have that in common when we became friends, even if we were both a bit 'abnormal' by the regular high school standards. if that doesn't make sense, i can go into further details (about being considered abnomral)..
my other friend who is also bipolar, like i am, i met and didn't know she was bipolar for a while either.
so, since most of my friends aren't mentally ill, perhaps i'm not either? :)
i think that your theory makes complete sense. we do tend to surround ourselves with people who we share common interests and traits with. but, how is it that you find mentally ill people so often. what i mean to say is that do you have some type of radar that goes off when you see a person that tells you that they are mentally ill? (and i'm not at all making light of this, it's just my manner of speaking you see. i do rather find this fascinating and regret that i've been too busy to get to thsi sooner. but again, i'm not poking fun, i just talk this way. please don't think i'm trying to offend in the slightest as i do find this rather intriguing.)...
again, what i'm saying is that i notice many of my friends SHOULD be in therapy. and i want to suggest it to them. they need it probably more tha i, in my opinion. but, they aren't dx mentally ill. but, how is it that you find so many people who are mentally ill and befriend them? do you meet them in support groups? your reference to engineers makes sense, but you would probably meet them at work, or at a conference. or if you met anengineer, you would want to know more, you see. when you meet a mentally ill person, do you strive to befriend that person? is that what is happening? is that possibly why you have many friends who are mantally ill? it's nice having a friend who is bipolar, as i have someone to relate to and who relates to me. and she doesn't call me when she's having a breakdown, nor do i call her. we are good about that. seems we both crashed at the same time. strange. however, having too many could be hazardous. dangerous. not good at all dear. i need to surround myself with healthy people as well, so that i can 'think' mself better, you know? and if i crash, it seems my friends aren't good at handling it. 2 is a good number for me. more than that would cause too many problems i believe. i have one to take care of when she's ill (as she is my best friend) and one that i can relate to. any more than that wouldn't be worth the trouble. and that's why i don't frequent the place i go to to see my therapist. i'm friendly, don't get me wrong, but i'm not there handing out my business card. that spells trouble.
i think that if you surround yourself with people of similar dx (and not just one or two, but more than that and often) then you may tend to focus entirely too much on your dx. Learning is fine. Learning is wonderful. however, i think that when people sit around and talk, they tend to moan and complain (not to suggest you are my dear, but i know i tend to do that). so, by surronding yourself with people who are also unhealthy, even though they understand and empathize, the may also be helping to keep you in a perpetual state of emotional turmoil and distress. by not allowing you to experience new things that ou would with other friends, as yu may learn new things, like pottery or art, or poetry, etc... you see what i'm saying? you may jsut be complaining or focusing entirely too much on your mental ilnesses rathe than exploring other parts of yourself that you may be doing with friends who aren't ill...
just my thoughts. and of course, i'm often wrong. what do you think darling?
poster:Karen_kay
thread:337173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/338514.html